From the end of the world

Chapter 583 Small Bowl 2
"When Sister Ma Zao found Zhu Jiu, he no longer had a human form." Xiao Wan said, "I don't know the details of this incident. I only heard about it from Sister Ma Zao later. She said that because the other party didn't look like he had completely fallen into the devil, so she wanted to try to pull him back with the power of return.

"The power of return is worthy of the attention of the planet's natural will, or perhaps it is precisely because it is so important that the mysterious power has strengthened it? Although there is no way to reset the complete form of the devil to a survivor, Zhu Jiu was probably at this critical point at the time, and was restored to human form by Sister Ma Zao.

“However, the specific image presented by this human is not Zhu Jiu, but Zhu Shi in his childhood… that is, me.

"Recovering the memories lost due to madness is a miracle that can only be achieved by the Three Lives Stone Powder. This is a realm that even the power of return cannot reach. Therefore, after waking up, I certainly have no memory of the past, and I don't know why I am there.

"At that time, Sister Maha was probably in a period of time after leaving the Gospel Institute and being abandoned by her friends and relatives. She was also alone and didn't know who she was or where she came from. So she formed a team of two with me. We spent a long time together until we were separated by the Great Demon of Disaster."

I sorted out this information in my mind, and then asked, "Why do you appear as 'Zhu Shi in his childhood'? Since you were restored by Ma Zao's power of return, then after restoration you should have the original appearance of Zhu Jiu, right?
"Is it because Zhu Jiu has become the spirit container of 'Zhu Shi's Dream Incarnation'? But even if that's the case, the appearance that should be revealed to the outside world should not be the appearance of the dream incarnation, but the appearance of the spirit container, right?"

Regardless of whether the cup contains salt water or sweet water, the shape of the cup itself will not change. According to the records I found in Luoshan, the human beings who become the incarnation of the Great Impermanence or the Son of God generally change their temperament and conversation, not their appearance.

Even if the appearance of some spirit-descending containers was changed, it was not because they became containers, but because the incarnation that entered the container manually changed itself through illusion or other powers. An example is Chang'an - although Yin Yue is neither the Great Impermanence nor the Son of God, she also relied on her own foul supernatural power to forcibly achieve a similar spirit-descending phenomenon, and the reason why she changed into the appearance of the monster girl was also due to her own illusion power.

Could it be that because the afterlife is a spiritual world, and the appearance is determined by the mind, the soul container automatically changes under special circumstances? This is my guess.

However, Xiaowan gave a slightly different answer.

"I can only speculate about this, but I believe my conclusion is the truth. My soul tells me so too." Xiaowan said, "Zhu Jiu's wish is not only out of love for her daughter, but also out of the hope to make up for her own shortcomings - she hopes that her daughter can take her place and live a happy and fulfilling life. She will transform into a container at the moment of soul collapse and bring her daughter's dream into her body, which is also a factor in this aspect.

“So when the returning force tried to reorganize Zhu Jiu into a human, Zhu Jiu’s soul gave up its place in this world to his daughter.

"As a result, Zhu Jiu's soul was decomposed into raw materials during the transformation process, and then resynthesized into Zhu Shi in his childhood during the restoration process. In a sense, it can be said that he used himself as a living sacrifice to resurrect Zhu Shi in his childhood."

Xiao Wan looked at his palm, paused for a moment and then continued: "This power of the correct position of heaven and earth is the evidence. This is a power that Zhu Jiu does not have.

"The dream incarnation attached to Zhu Jiu did not originate from the current Zhu Shi, but from Zhu Shi when he was still the Son of Divinity. Although it is only a side of his soul self, he is undoubtedly also the Son of Divinity.

"In order to revive a person, one must either meet extremely harsh conditions or expend extremely powerful forces...Since ancient times, there have been more than one example of reviving someone at the cost of their immediate family members. Zhu Jiu can be said to have met the requirements of the resurrection ceremony by accident."

Yin Yue once intended to revive at the cost of her own son, while Zhu Jiu used herself as material to give birth to her own daughter again.

Although both mothers chose to recreate their lives, they chose opposite paths.

"Of course, from the perspective of the resurrection ceremony, this approach also has many problems." Xiao Wan continued, "First of all, Zhu Shi, the object of the resurrection, is not really dead. Even if we say that 'she is weak and dead', it is somewhat far-fetched.

“Secondly, if one wants to revive the Son of God, simply sacrificing a direct relative does not constitute an equal exchange, unless the direct relative is the Son of God himself.

"Thanks to this, I have now become an individual who has inherited the attributes of both, but is neither of them. I have both the power of Zhu Shi in my childhood and Zhu Jiu's high intelligence and personality... If I have to define myself, it would probably be 'the embodiment of an out-of-control dream'."

I chewed on the word, "Out of control...?"

"A normal dream incarnation should have its own mission. Just like the girl Lu Chan that you, Brother Zhuang Cheng, met before, her mission is to return to Lu Youxun and make him Lu Chan again. It doesn't matter even if she disappears." Xiaowan said, "And my mission is to let Zhu Shi in the real world live the happy and fulfilling life he hoped for in his childhood - this is both Zhu Jiu's obsession and Zhu Shi's dream in his childhood.

"It's just that due to the intervention of madness, I even forgot my inherent mission. And in the process of getting along with Sister Maha, I also sprouted 'my own wishes' that should not have arisen as the incarnation of dreams, which is that I hope that Sister Maha can live a happy and fulfilling life."

"……I see."

Slowly, I digested all the information and came to my own conclusions.

Ultimately, the essence of the small bowl is still a "special embodiment of dreams."

Her spiritual structure is neither human nor inhuman. Human beings are multifaceted beings, with both light and darkness, selflessness and selfishness, and a three-dimensional soul with both pure and turbid coexistence. However, Xiaowan is an existence in which only one aspect is extremely emphasized. Her soul is pure and extreme.

That's why she could say that she would stand by my side no matter what happened, and follow through on that statement without distraction; she could also pray 24 hours a day, as if it were her breathing, in a pure way that no human could possibly pray, allowing the power of blessing to bless me all the time.

She was like a girl from a fantasy story, a beautiful yet illusory light.

"...Brother Zhuang Cheng, have I disappointed you?" she asked softly.

I asked back, “Why do you say that?”

She revealed a vaguely uneasy expression and said, "... because I am not a real human being. I am more like a weird thing, a phenomenon, a malfunctioning automatic program. Do you feel that you have invested your feelings in the wrong person? Perhaps, I am not worthy of your cherishment..."

"You really can't call yourself human," I said.

She lowered her head in frustration.

"But, Xiaowan, why do you hope that Ma Zao can be happy in the future?" I asked, "This is out of your own inner desire. No one asked you to think this way, but it is your own wish, right?"

"...yes," she admitted.

"Well, that's enough. No matter what your origins are, you are a life with your own independent will. I will never allow anyone to deny this." I said, "At the same time, I will not withdraw my words. No matter what happens, I will always be your partner and the embodiment of your dreams."

She stared at my face blankly, "Brother Zhuang Cheng..."

"And..." I changed the subject, "I don't really care whether you are human or not. If you are really a non-human monster, then I would like you even more."

"Don't say such weird things when the atmosphere is so good." Xiaowan complained.

I did it on purpose. If the atmosphere is too good, I can't help being shy. So this is a cover-up. Xiaowan's intuition is so strong, will she be able to see through my heart? I hope I can cover it up well.

"Now it's your turn, Xiaowan," I said. "How do you see yourself and how do you see me?"

Although I can tell through observation that her self-perception has not changed due to the recovery of her memory, I still want to get the answer from her.

In response to my question, Xiaowan responded with action.

She came closer, stretched out her arms, hugged my waist tightly, and put her face against my body and rubbed it gently.

"I'm still your little bowl." she said softly.
-
Xiaowan told me her true origins, and I chose to treat her as always. But I knew very well that it was impossible to truly "remain the same as always". Even if it has not yet been revealed, as time goes by, some realistic contradictions caused by Xiaowan's true identity are bound to block our way in an irrefutable way.

Even if I have to face the test of reality, my oath to Xiaowan will not change.

As for the moment, I felt that I should call back number seven who was standing far away to avoid suspicion.

But before I opened my mouth, I suddenly remembered that there was something I hadn't asked yet, so I said to Xiao Wan, "Oh, Xiao Wan... you said before that you would be able to answer why the head of the Gospel Court, Yama, knew that you were the son of divinity after you recovered your memory... But I just listened to the whole thing, and I didn't hear any similar clues."

Perhaps due to the shock of recovering all his memories, Xiaowan himself had apparently forgotten this question. He only remembered it after I mentioned it to him, and then replied: "The absence of clues is the biggest clue, which means that the information was not leaked from my past self.

"This way, the list of suspects can be narrowed down to just a few. The answer is already clear."

(End of this chapter)