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Chapter 24: Xie Hushan, the Wimpy Family

Late at night, Xie Hushan, Han Hongbing, the young Taoist Shen Mo and Dahei, three people and a dog sat behind a lush old tree on the top of Chaoyang Mountain. The only sounds around them were the low chirping of various grass insects unique to summer nights.

Looking down the mountain from the height where Xie Hushan and his companions were, they could see the cool moonlight shining all over the earth on a summer night. Zhongping Village three miles away was clearly visible under the moonlight, and there was a kind of quiet and peace unique to the countryside at night.

Shen Mo was seriously explaining his plans for the future to Han Hongbing. After his master came back, he would return to secular life and join the army, and then after he was discharged from the army, he would marry a girl with a small face, a pointed chin, big eyes, and a tall stature and long legs.

Han Hongbing gave his opinion: "Small face, big eyes, pointed chin, tall stature and long legs? This is easy to deal with. I'll catch you a female mantis later, and you just have to fight it."

Xie Hushan wanted to scold Han Hongbing for being so mean, but then he thought again that Mantis really did perfectly fit all the characteristics that Shen Mo had just described to his wife.

The three people were chatting here. Dahei, who was lying next to Han Hongbing, suddenly stood up and looked down the mountain vigilantly, obviously hearing some noise.

Xie Hushan signaled the two to shut up, and looked towards the path leading up the mountain among the grass and trees. He saw three flashlights on the only path leading up and down the mountain at the foot of the mountain.

"Come here, young Taoist priest. It's your turn later. Hurry up and prepare your lessons." Han Hongbing stretched his neck to look down and warned Shen Mo, whose aesthetic taste was completely shattered by his words about catching female mantises to make a living.

The people were climbing the mountain quite fast and would soon reach the top. At this time, Dahei, who was next to the three of them, began to hum in grievance and tucked his tail between his legs.

Hearing the voice, Xie Hushan glanced at Dahei, and then looked at Han Hongbing. Dogs' eyesight is much better than humans', which means that Dahei has already seen the general appearance of the person who came, and most importantly, the other party made him feel scared.

"Is your mother here?" Xie Hushan looked at Han Hongbing uncertainly and asked in a low voice.

Han Hongbing's mother is the tigress of the Han family. Not only Dahei, but all four male members of the Han family are completely subdued by his mother, a woman from another family.

Han Hongbing looked at the three people getting closer and closer, and shook his head decisively: "Impossible, you don't know yet, when my mother burned paper for my grandmother, she was too lazy to go to the cemetery, she just drew a circle at the crossroads and burned it. How could she run up the mountain to burn incense in the middle of the night?"

"Then besides your mother, who else in your family can make Dahei so scared?" Xie Hushan looked at Dahei who kept shrinking back and said with increasing surprise.

"Hey, Dahei peed!" Shen Mo, who was watching Dahei's reaction curiously, suddenly said excitedly: "Dahei peed too~"

"It's not as shameful as you when Dahei peed, at least Dahei didn't wet his pants! How can you compare your shame with a dog?" Han Hongbing glared at Shen Mo unhappily, then suddenly reacted and looked at Xie Hushan:

"If we can make Dahei scare the shit out of us when he sees us and smells us, then our team will show off!"

Then Han Hongbing looked at Dahei who was frightened and said, "Dahei, is it Daxiuer?"

Dahei snorted twice.

When Xie Hushan saw Dahei's reaction, he rubbed his face hard. He didn't think about anyone other than the Han family. Indeed, the person Dahei feared most in his life should be Xie Yuxiu.

The worst experience Dahei had ever encountered in his life was when he fell into Daxiu'er's hands. At that time, Daxiu was less than ten years old, and Dahei was only one or two years old.

It was one afternoon. Xie Hushan and Han Hongbing went to cut grass and chop firewood. Daxiu stayed at Han's house and played with Han Laosan. When teasing Dahei, he found a black pimple on Dahei's belly. Then Daxiu was shocked and said to Han Laosan: Oh no, this is the butt of a dog tick. The dog tick drilled into Dahei's belly and sucked blood. We must help Dahei get it off, otherwise Dahei will be sucked to death.

Han Laosan is two years younger than Daxiu and follows her lead. In addition, he thinks that Daxiu's father is a veterinarian, so Daxiu must have learned from her father and he cannot be wrong.

So the accomplice Han Laosan clamped Dahei's mouth and tied his legs with ropes. The main culprit Daxiu used his hands, tweezers, and burnt with fire, but he still couldn't get rid of the dog tick. Fortunately, Xie Hushan and Han Hongbing came back in time from cutting grass and firewood in the afternoon and rescued Dahei.

That was the dog tick, that was the big black one. It was the first time Xie Hushan had seen a dog cry out in pain and grievance, with tears that could not be stopped, and it was almost anxious enough to speak in human language and complain.

Daxiu was so dumbfounded at the time, he asked Xie Hushan and Han Hongbing, who were heartbroken, with an innocent look on his face: Can male dogs also be bored?
Xie Hushan remembered that Dahei barked wildly at Daxiu who asked this question, probably cursing: You are a fucking veterinarian? Who taught you to treat a male dog's sting as a tick?
From then on, wherever Daxiu appeared, Dahei would definitely retreat, and would even be scared to pee if he ran slower. It was obvious that the time when Daxiu helped it treat dog ticks left it with an unforgettable impression.

No wonder Special Envoy Lao Feng insisted that Xie Hushan come here to guard tonight. It turned out that the people who came to burn incense were his family members.

As the people got closer, Xie Hushan recognized them. They were not strangers. The old lady walking in front was Ma Saner's grandmother, Old Lady Meng. Following behind were two people, one was Daxiu'er, who looked sleepy and yawned continuously, and the other was Daxiu's biological mother, his own aunt Chen Chunxiang.

The three of them walked to the old fairy cave. Old lady Meng placed a white porcelain bowl in front of the cave as an incense burner, took out a small bag of flour tied around her waist and filled the bowl with it. Then she took a handful of incense and handed it to Chen Chunxiang and Daxiu, motioning them to kneel down and kowtow.

Daxiu looked reluctant, and after being pinched twice by her mother, she reluctantly knelt down next to her mother. The old lady lit a handful of grass incense and handed it to Chen Chunxiang: "Chunxiang, whatever you want to pray for, just say it to the old fairy."

Chen Chunxiang held the incense in her hands, closed her eyes, and said to herself with a pious look, "Please pray to the gods that my Daxiu will pass the final exam next week and get into junior high school. I hope she can study hard and take over her father's job when she grows up. Don't let anyone eat up our family, especially the grandson of Xie Laosi."

Xie Hushan, who was eavesdropping in the shadows, was stunned.

I am the only one left in Grandpa Xie Laosi's family. The grandson of Xie Laosi that Chen Chunxiang is talking about can't be anyone else but myself. But when will I be the one to make Daxiu's family extinct?

But looking at Chen Chunxiang's aggrieved and sad expression, it didn't seem like she was pretending. After she finished speaking, she put a handful of incense into the bowl, then knelt down and waited for the incense to burn out.

"Mom, I followed you only because you said you would give me something delicious. When will you give me the food?" Daxiu yawned and spoke reluctantly.

Chen Chunxiang knelt on the ground without saying a word. Ma San's grandmother, Old Lady Meng, was beside her coaxing Daxiu: "Daxiu, kneel down. When the incense is burned out, grandma will give you honey balls. After eating them, you will be able to open your mind and pass the entrance exam to junior high school."

Just as Old Lady Meng was coaxing Daxiu, a flashlight first lit up in the dark old fairy cave in front of her, and then the voice of her beloved grandson Ma Saner rang out:

"Grandma, can you give me something to eat? I'm hungry too."

The sound startled Old Lady Meng and Chen Chunxiang who was kowtowing devoutly. Old Lady Meng shone the flashlight over there and saw her grandson Ma San coming out of the cave with a gun on his back, followed by his grandson's childhood friend Chen Daxi.

"I haven't sent out the signal yet, why did you two come out?" Seeing these two guys exposed themselves, Han Hongbing stood up from behind a tree not far behind Mrs. Meng and accused Ma San and Chen Daxi: "Can you still obey orders?"

"My head and butt are covered with lumps. If I wait any longer, I'm afraid I'll be bitten to death by mosquitoes." Ma Saner said to Han Hongbing with an apologetic look on his face.

Daxiu was quite happy, with a look of surprise on her face: "Hey~ When did you come? Is my brother here?"

"Here it is." Xie Hushan walked out from behind the tree and agreed, then looked at his aunt Chen Chunxiang: "Aunt, tell me, who told you that I want to eat your family's extinct family? I broke that person's teeth off. Isn't this unfair to a good person?"

"Xie Husan'er, don't pretend to be a good person here." Chen Chunxiang saw Xie Hushan was also there. After the initial panic on her face, she immediately said to Xie Hushan with disgust:

"Your grandma told me so herself. Go ahead and break your baby teeth off."

Hearing this, the scene fell into silence for a moment, and the young Taoist priest Shen Mo whispered beside him:
"Well, do I still need to attend the political class? I'm the only outsider. No, I'll go back first. There are still a few kids waiting to be petted."

(End of this chapter)