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Chapter 16 Ma Laowu Goes Crazy
Ma Laowu has been feeling a little uneasy ever since he personally watched Xie Hushan riding his bicycle and leading eight large carts to the county town at the gate of Yaowang Temple at nine o'clock in the evening.

He was not afraid of anything happening while walking at night. He was just kidding. With eight old rickshaw drivers who traveled long distances all year round, especially Xie Laoliu, who was recognized as the best driver in the village and even in the commune, and eight strong laborers, not only would the small thieves not dare to provoke them, even demons and monsters would have to retreat when seeing such strong yang energy.

He was worried that Xie Hushan would be cheated by the dung shovel. What if the dung shovel tricked Xie Hushan into collecting dung in the middle of the night with a low price, and then brought back eight trucks of third-grade yellow dung soup for him after dark? If he added the cost of hiring a truck, his production team would suffer a huge loss this year.

Although Xie Hushan seemed to be smarter than other young men in the team, he was young and inexperienced after all, and they were afraid that he would try to take small advantages and suffer big losses.

He was preoccupied with things and couldn't even lie down on the kang. He sat at the door of his house, smoking his pipe and enjoying the cool air. Just then, the tofu workshop and the vermicelli workshop started work. Several old ladies, whom Ma Laowu had to call aunties and grandmas according to their seniority, came over. Upon asking, he found out that they came to him to take some dried sweet potatoes and soybeans. They said that Hu Saner had bought ten bundles of sweet potato vermicelli and ten boards of tofu, and paid for them in advance, asking them to have them made before dawn.

Ma Laowu couldn't even sit still. Xie Hushan used the money from buying manure to buy vermicelli and tofu from his own production team? Was he giving a gift to Fen Shaozi? He bought 30 truckloads of manure and gave Fen Shaozi 10 bundles of vermicelli and 10 sheets of tofu?
The gifts were too much. How much did the manure cost to buy? Why did they give such expensive gifts? He originally wanted to send the old ladies back to sleep, but then he changed his mind and thought that since the money had returned to the team, he would make the things first and wait for Xie Hushan to come back and ask about it. If it was really because of the gifts that they got the cheap manure, he would not delay things at that time.

After getting dried sweet potatoes and soybeans from the warehouse for the old ladies and sending them away, Ma Laowu made up his mind and went back to the headquarters of the Third Team of Yaowang Temple. He turned on the lights in the headquarters and sat at the table. He decided to wait here for the manure truck to come back tonight and ask Xie Hushan clearly. No one had such trouble collecting manure before, so why was he so troublesome? What the hell was this kid holding back!

He dozed off with his head propped up by his arm. He didn't know how much time had passed before he heard the sound of horse hooves and the turning of wheel axles outside. Ma Laowu suddenly opened his eyes, rubbed them, stood up and walked out of the gate of Yaowang Temple. It was still dark. Eight carts had been lined up and parked in the open field outside. Drivers in tattered coats stood beside them with whips on their shoulders. The animals kept raising their hooves and snorting on the spot. Although the cart behind him was surrounded by wooden baffles and several thick layers of plastic cloth, the pungent smell could not be blocked.

Xie Hushan, holding a hand-rolled cigarette in his mouth, stood astride his bicycle and looked at Ma Laowu with a smile: "Laowu, eight loads of manure, which piece of manure pit of our team are you unloading?"

"Fuck you..." Hearing Xie Hushan deliberately provoking him by calling him Lao Wu again, Ma Lao Wu wanted to curse him, but before he could finish, one of the eight strong laborers who followed him to collect manure couldn't help but shout at him in a low voice: "Lao Wu! Pure manure! Not from the manure pit, but from the toilet without any water mixed in! Eight carts!"

Ma Laowu was stunned when he heard this, then he looked at Xie Hushan who was grinning, his eyes rolled a few times, and the curse he was about to say immediately changed direction: "Fuck you, your Fifth Aunt is so unsympathetic, I told her to pack two boiled eggs for Hu Saner before I left so that the child wouldn't go hungry, but she said she couldn't bear to leave, and look how tired my nephew is, he must be hungry, right? When it's daybreak, Fifth Uncle will pay for you to eat wontons and sesame cakes!"

These words made everyone present laugh. After Ma Laowu finished his polite words, he trotted over to several large trucks, not caring about the filth. He stood on them, lifted the plastic sheet on top and looked at them carefully. He kept whispering to the members of the third team who were following him to collect the manure: "Did you look carefully? Is it really pure manure?"

"How can it be fake? It's from the toilet in the county hospital. I think it can be made into twelve or thirteen carts of first-class manure by mixing it with water." A member of the cooperative who is also an experienced farmer handed a flashlight to Ma Laowu who was leaning against the eaves of the cart to look at the manure.

Ma Laowu took the flashlight and carefully checked each truck. Still not reassured, he followed the eight trucks to the manure pit to unload the manure. He personally followed the others to unload the manure from the eight trucks into the manure pit. Only then did he breathe a sigh of relief and muttered, "It's pure manure. Eight trucks, you didn't fool me, you didn't fool me..."

Xie Hushan silently counted out fourteen yuan and handed it to Ma Laowu. Ma Laowu was a little confused: "What are you doing?"

Xie Hushan tilted his head towards the seven rickshaw drivers beside him and said, "The money for hiring a rickshaw is two dollars per rickshaw. Although the money has to be given to the captains of their respective teams, you have to say a few words."

"That's right. By the way, how much is the manure?" Ma Laowu took the money. He would not give the money to the driver, but to the team leader of the production team where the driver worked. However, he had to take out the money and show it to prove that his production team was not a poor team and had money to pay the bills, and would definitely not delay settling the accounts until the end of the year.

"No money." Xie Hushan said. "No..." Ma Laowu's eyes almost popped out, and then he immediately raised his voice: "What! Seven dollars? Just wait, I will deal with you after I send everyone away! You can't collect a lot of manure! Just wait!"

Then he looked at the drivers of the seven other production teams with a sullen face and raised the money in his hand: "Thank you for your hard work, everyone. The money is here, it's ready, seven yuan a cart, and I will definitely not cheat you of your hard-earned money! I won't wait until the end of the year to settle the accounts, you should go back to sleep, it's okay if you can't get up tomorrow, I will go to deliver the money to your team at dawn, your team will definitely not call you to work again, go back and rest early, thank you for your hard work! Sixth uncle, well, can you send your brothers off for me!"

Xie Laoliu turned around and waved to the cart drivers. The cart drivers drove the carts back to their respective production teams. After Xie Laoliu and the strong laborers went home to rest, Ma Laowu took Xie Hushan back to the Yaowang Temple team headquarters. He rubbed his tense face and smiled like a flower: "Nephew, fourteen yuan for eight carts of pure manure. You are the number one in our team. I have always known that you are not an ordinary person...Have a cigarette! Have a cigarette!"

As he spoke, Ma Laowu took the key tied to his belt, opened the drawer of the table, and took out a box of Beidaihe. These were the cigarettes used by the team to entertain visitors from the commune. Ma Laowu himself was reluctant to smoke them, so he took out a cigarette and handed it to Xie Hushan's mouth, then lit it for Xie Hushan himself.

"This is a great job! Ten bundles of vermicelli, ten plates of tofu plus fourteen yuan for the truck fare, in exchange for eight trucks of pure manure. Although it's not a big bargain, it's still a good deal for us!" Ma Laowu extinguished the match and was about to bend down and sit back on the stool.

"The vermicelli and tofu are not from these eight trucks, but from the other fifteen trucks. In addition to vermicelli and tofu, there are also ten-yuan popsicles. I originally wanted to give a banner, but I was not in time and the process was too slow, so I decided to get a stack of certificates from school instead." Xie Hushan said, holding a cigarette in his mouth, sitting across the table from Ma Laowu.

Before Ma Laowu's butt even touched the bench, he jumped up and said, "What? These eight cars don't count? There are still fifteen cars?"

His whole face was trembling. "Fifteen truckloads? All pure feces? ... And you don't want any money?"

Seeing Xie Hushan shaking his head, Ma Laowu breathed a sigh of relief. If this guy said that he had brought another 15 trucks of pure manure for free, Ma Laowu felt that apart from giving up his position as production team leader to Xie Hushan, there was no other way to express his excitement at the moment. Not to mention that he was willing, even if he was unwilling, the members of the third team would have to choose Xie Hushan.

"It's not fifteen trucks, there are thirty-one trucks left, pure manure, free of charge." Xie Hushan looked at Ma Laowu, whose expression had just relaxed, and spoke.

Ma Laowu sat down heavily on the bench with a thud, and looked at Xie Hushan with a dull look. After more than ten seconds, he swallowed his saliva and said, "Hu San'er, if you didn't lie to me, tell me again, I'll give you a Der to eat. How many trucks of pure feces do you have for free?"

"I still have time to play with Der, my fifth uncle?" Xie Hushan said with a smile to Ma Laowu who was stunned by the number:

"Thirty-one carts of manure, and only one day to collect and load the manure. If you miss the deadline, you will not be able to wait. We need thirty-one carts, two laborers per cart, and an additional fifty kilograms of black flour. We need to set out at dawn, but I have nowhere to find a cart. It's past three o'clock now, and it will be dawn soon. What do you think, Uncle Wu, do you want to play for a while, or do our team's business first?"

After Ma Laowu came to his senses, he seemed to be crazy. He rushed out of the team headquarters and ran away. A voice came from outside: "You sleep here first to recuperate. Uncle Wu will go to each production team and knock on their team leader's door. Don't worry, by daybreak, I promise to gather thirty-one trucks for you! Hahahaha, thirty-nine trucks of pure manure, damn it, when all the manure is put into our team's manure pit, I will show off to death! Who in the fifty miles doesn't know about this? It's all because I, Er Mianfei, didn't convey it to them!"

(End of this chapter)