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Chapter 14: Helping the hospital with good deeds without leaving a name

"The honey trap is OK, it will definitely work. I've seen through it all. Young female comrades generally won't be embarrassed wherever they go. During the harvest season, after Daxi and I finished our work, we thought we'd go to the fish pit to take a shower in the hot weather. But Wu Shuanzi, who was in charge of the fish pit, wouldn't let us go in, saying that we might choke the fish if we splashed around. Guess what happened? The next day, several women in our team wanted to take a shower in the water while everyone was resting at noon, wearing vests and shorts. Wu Shuanzi wasn't afraid that the fish would be choked to death, so he agreed immediately and stood guard for the female comrades for an hour with his back to the fish pit. He was really loyal to his duty. Not to mention the men, even a passing male dog would get slapped if he even looked at the fish pit!"

When Han Hongbing heard that Xie Hushan was planning a beauty trap, he felt that this would have an 80% chance of success. After all, he had just experienced something not long ago, which made him feel that this society was too unfriendly to men.

Hearing him say he was slapped, Dahei snorted twice. Han Hongbing patted the dog's head and said, "Well, I passed by the fish pond that day and saw the male dog that was slapped twice in the face by Wu Shuanzi. It was Dahei. Don't feel wronged. Okay, I'll deal with him later."

Xie Hushan said to Han Hongbing: "Are there many young female teachers in our village primary school? Are there enough to send one to each place?"

"Not enough." Han Hongbing calculated for a moment and said with certainty, "There are only four young unmarried women. A few days ago, I heard my mother say that she showed my brother's photo to all four of them to see which one is willing to write letters and date my brother."

The brother he mentioned is Han Hongjun, the eldest son of the Han family. He is currently serving in the army, but I heard that he will soon be discharged from the army and transferred to civilian work. Han Hongbing's mother wants to help her son find a suitable partner in advance.

"I don't care. If it's not enough, you have to find a way. You promised to be responsible for solving the school's work. Anyway, except for the military camp, the hospital and the Xiguan Nursing Home, you must ensure that there is a young female teacher in other places. If there are any difficulties, you have to overcome them yourself." Xie Hushan did not continue to dwell on this issue:

"Don't rush to set off in the morning. Near noon, let the students take the carts responsible for transporting manure to the city for our team. I will provide lunch for them at noon, and then let the teachers accompany the children to walk around the county. At two o'clock in the afternoon, we will coordinate the deployment of troops and arrange teachers to take the children to the designated government agencies. I will be responsible for ensuring that the carts are fully equipped, and you will be responsible for ensuring that the children enter the field. Let the teachers trick the other party into arranging the carts to start picking up manure within ten minutes. After loading the manure, the carts will leave, leaving the children to continue doing good deeds."

Seeing Han Hongbing was about to question him, Xie Hushan waved his hand and said, "Listen to me, tell the female teachers that if they cooperate well this time, I will go and argue with the second uncle. I will definitely get them some bonus work points at the end of the year, but they must convey two messages to the young man who arranged to receive them as soon as they chat with him. First, the children came here on a horse-drawn carriage to collect manure. The carriage is going to collect manure first and will come back to pick them up after unloading the manure. Second, there is a long queue at the manure pit, and I don’t know when the children can go back. It would be great if the carriage could transport the manure directly to the county party committee toilet so that they don’t have to queue and waste time."

Han Hongbing looked at Xie Hushan's expression and tentatively said, "If the female teacher asks, the other party will probably agree. Anyway, he knows that the leaders can't care who cleans the toilet. Even if they care, they won't be angry if they know that it's to let the good kids go home early."

Xie Hushan nodded: "That's what I mean."

"Why do we have to go in the afternoon?"

"Are you stupid? The animals have brought back so much manure, and you still want to pick up the children? The animals need to rest, what if they are exhausted? Besides, even if the manure cart is cleaned, it still has a smell. How can you carry the children? You will smoke out the flowers of the motherland!" Xie Hushan lit a cigarette and took a puff:
"Tomorrow, no matter where the students are going to do good deeds, after finishing their work, they will be led by their teachers to walk to the bicycle shed in the county party compound to gather. When the county party compound is off work, the leaders will go to the bicycle shed to push the bicycles. The leaders must see a group of children crying and wiping tears. The female teacher is anxious and walking in circles because they can't go home. The animals that were supposed to pick them up are tired or have injured their legs. The team is trying to find a solution, but the children are cold and hungry now. The county party leaders can't just watch the children not go home in the evening. They will definitely ask the canteen to arrange some food for the children, and then call our county long-distance bus station to arrange a bus to take the children back temporarily. Wouldn't it be safer and more comfortable for the children to take a bus back than a horse-drawn carriage?"

Han Hongbing's expression was a little distorted after hearing what Xie Hushan said. How could such a simple and honest peasant brother do such a thing? He took away other people's manure for nothing, and then let the child extort a meal from the county party committee cafeteria, and then asked the leader to find a way to send the child back by car?
This is not a good deed, this is pure extortion. If the county committee accidentally lets the children from Zhongping Village in tomorrow, from that moment on, it will be bad luck, and they can't get rid of it. The county committee compound is so big, they can't just watch a group of rural children who come to the city to do good things starve. He stared at Xie Hushan for a long time, and suddenly asked: "Did Ma Mengqi's grandfather, who was a storyteller, secretly tell you "Lü Bu teasing Diao Chan" again? He is very good at chain tricks?"

"This is just the beginning. I have another trick up my sleeve tonight." Xie Hushan patted his childhood friend on the shoulder and said, "Tonight I have to take eight trucks into the city and bring back eight trucks of manure from the county hospital."

"Won't the county hospital use your previous trick of getting students to do good deeds?" Han Hongbing asked curiously.

Xie Hushan shook his head. "No, the county hospital doesn't allow students to do good deeds because they think it's a nuisance. But it doesn't matter. I've asked around. We'll go there at midnight. The hospital doesn't do sanitation at night, so our people will pretend to be the ones collecting manure from the Health Bureau. I'll take care of the guards, and the drivers will drive the trucks to load the manure. After loading eight trucks, we'll leave."

"How did you find out?" Han Hongbing took a breath. "Can the county hospital guards let eight vehicles in to collect and transport manure in the middle of the night?"

"I asked the hospital security guard about it. I told him that I would take over my father's job as a night soil collector at the Health Bureau, and that I would be responsible for collecting night soil in the hospital area from now on. He came to get to know the area during the day today and gave him half a pack of Beidaihe cigarettes. In less than two cigarettes, he told me everything. He patted his chest and told me that when my nephew comes in the evening, I just need to give him a call, and it will definitely work." Xie Hushan signaled Han Hongbing to be patient, as this was just his routine operation.

"...Is this considered a scam?" Han Hongbing was speechless for a while and asked in a low voice.

"I asked, it doesn't count, it counts as doing good deeds for the hospital without leaving a name, it should thank us." Xie Hushan took a few puffs of the cigarette, extinguished the remaining half and carefully put it away:

"After talking about the serial schemes of the county party committee and the hospital's cover-up, let's talk about the military camp. Select 30 children who can work steadily to work in the military camp. Don't let Daxiu'er go and cause trouble. I thought of using the money for collecting manure to buy some for the PLA comrades... Our commune is so poor that there is no one selling popsicles. When I come back from the commune's armed forces department, I will ask Ma Laowu for money and give ten yuan to Daxi. Daxi's grandmother's family is in Xiajiatun. There is a popsicle workshop in that commune. Ask him to ride a tricycle to get the job done overnight. Then ask our team's vermicelli workshop and tofu workshop to leave me a batch of vermicelli and ten boards of tofu at the original price. I will give them to the PLA comrades in the military camp as a token of my appreciation. By the way, remember to remind me tomorrow to ask Ma Laowu to pack a bag of black flour for the children going to the county town for lunch."

"Yeah." Han Hongbing was taking notes silently beside him.

Xie Hushan thought for a while, then stood up and walked out. "That's it. I'll go to the commune's armed forces department to get the contact letter. I'll give it to you after I get it. You go and fool the principal, and then I'll go to Ma Laowu to ask for money. You have to solve the school problem, and I still have a lot of things to do here. I need eight mule-drawn four-wheeled carts tonight. Except for the one pulled by my sixth master, our team has to pay to hire the other seven from other teams."

(End of this chapter)