Can not doing what one wants be called rebirth?

Chapter 376 386. The Proposition of Unrequited Love
After the initial novelty and shock, it only took Guan Yongyi a few minutes to calm down quickly.

After washing up, the two of them curled up on the sofa in the living room, eating fresh seasonal fruits while the latest episode of a popular variety show played in front of them.

No one asked that question.

That unspoken question.

——Where did Lu Jincheng go tonight?

Both Zhou Si Ning and Guan Yongyi had actually secretly chatted with him privately.

He won't be back tonight.

To be with the staff under you.

Let’s watch the latest episode of “Goddess 101” and Miao Keyan’s journey to promotion.

In fact, since the broadcast of "Goddess 101", Miao Keyan's popularity has remained high.

However, the contestants who are able to participate in this program also have their own unique skills. They have their own traffic and gain an advantage in the early stages, but they will inevitably be caught up by others in the later stages.

Therefore, Miao Keyan is not 100% sure about competing for the final debut spot.

Because in a program like this that is open to the entire audience, outstanding talent is only a small part of popularity.

To put it bluntly, a variety show that is broadcast live throughout the entire show is a competition of all-round personal charm.

Some people are born to live in the spotlight. Even if they have no talent, they are definitely the protagonist.

Miao Keyan has enough gimmicks and strong talents, but the initial surprise he brings to people is ultimately limited.

Fun games, team PK, interactive display.
The organizers have designed different links so that the comprehensive qualities of the contestants can be better demonstrated through each program.

And tonight's episode is crucial for the contestants of "Goddess 101".

It not only determines the final popularity before online voting, but the segments designed in the program itself are also very interesting.

"Do you think Miao Keyan can debut?"

Zhou Si Ning crossed her legs and sank into the soft sofa.

The soft light reflected on the girl's bare face, one leg resting on the armrest, the other flip-flop tapping against the sole of her foot.

"I felt it was relatively stable before, but now it's hard to say."

The short-haired girl next to her also maintained a very relaxed posture.

The long legs with well-proportioned curves were crossed on the mat, and the small foot suspended in the air occasionally swayed gently, with the big toe forming an attractive upward arc.

A slender and smooth waist that extends all the way to the hem of the dress, and the edge of the matching underwear that is faintly visible on the waist.

Pure white, and it seems to have lace edges.

Snow-white and delicate calves, lovely and delicate feet, and evenly applied light pink toenails.

"Yes, she was in the top five in the previous few rounds, but now she can only barely rank eighth."

Zhou Si Ning chuckled and nodded in response.

Her loose hair trembled like a shining brown waterfall.

"As for her, I think she's just been a host for too long, you know? She has an idol image and is not as real as those amateurs."

"Yes, yes, that's right, I feel the same way, it's out of touch with reality."

After all, we are best friends who have grown up together.

Without talking about feelings, they still have a certain degree of tacit understanding when gossiping about others.

"This is a live variety show! There aren't so many routines. People just like people who are more real. Your fans in the live broadcast room are all coaxing you, but when you come out, it's not the same."

"I'm not destined to be a princess, but I have princess syndrome."

Guan Yongyi made a pointed comment.

"I think she's going to suffer a big loss this time."

"How to say?"

Guan Yongyi stretched out his arm, grabbed a handful of potato chips from the coffee table, and ate them with a crunch.

This episode has an unprecedented truth-telling segment.

"Look at this mechanism and the title! - Have you ever been in love but couldn't get it? If so, please describe this situation."

A long paragraph of text appeared on the TV screen.

Zhou Si Ning straightened up and read attentively, and at the end she couldn't help but sound a little excited.

"She is Miao Xiaoxian! How could she, a Douyu goddess loved by so many people, admit in front of others that there was such a moment?"

"If your image collapses, will you continue to do live streaming in the future?"

"And in this segment, it is obvious that whoever speaks sincerely will be able to impress the audience."

"I just don't believe she can say anything."

"Well, I don't believe it either."

Guan Yongyi pursed her lips to show her agreement.

Such a segment is indeed a huge test for the contestants of "Goddess 101".

All the girls who can participate in the competition are beautiful and proud, and most of them have had some emotional experience.

For people who have excellent personal conditions, it is easy for them to be in a relationship and be willing to do so.

What is it to love but not be able to get it?
This is rare.

Quite a rare experience.

So, when the contestants organized their language, sat around the stove in the open space of the Goddess Castle to make tea, and chatted like sisters, the audience paid 100% attention.

strange.

Everyone was not chatting in order, but casually talking about all sorts of things, starting with the youngest, Sun Xin, and naturally moving on to the topic of unrequited love.

"As for me, I can trace it back to junior high school. He was the best student in our class."

Sun Xin has a typical baby face and looks very cute when she smiles.

"He was tall and wore a very straight school uniform. He often sat by the window. The scene that moved me the most was the sunlight at ten o'clock, just hitting his face."

"." "Unfortunately, I never had the courage to tell him that I like you."

The sisters formed a circle, each with their eyes open, listening very attentively.

As Sun Xin was speaking, the popularity of the live broadcast was slowly growing in the statistics column.

The goddess speaks from the heart, and the audience's reaction will also be extremely real.

These days, contrast is as precious as gold.

Who doesn’t like to see a beautiful girl who can’t get the love she wants?

The pain, tears and fate of being nailed to the spot beneath the goddess's mask are scenes that are rarely seen in daily life but are the most popular scenes among the public.

One by one, the contestants began to speak freely and open their hearts.

However, due to their own experience and limitations, none of these goddesses can tell a story that truly touches everyone.

But it's normal.

Great beauty and unrequited love are two words that sound contradictory.

"It's my turn~"

Until the camera and the sight focused on Miao Keyan.

After participating in the show, Miaomiao seems to be much more restrained, perhaps because she has seen a bigger world and met more outstanding peers.

"My story of being unable to get the love I wanted began one hundred and seventy-three days ago."

"."

“The first time we went out alone, we stayed in the office and watched La La Land.

The first time I leaned against him, there were two thick layers of clothes between us. It was raining outside, but our shoulders were still hot when we were pressed together.

I turned my head and whispered to him, this is my favorite movie.

I deliberately stood very close to his ear and blew air faintly while I spoke.

He didn't move at all, his hand reached across the quilt and held my hand tightly.

The period when I admired him the most lasted for exactly one hundred and seventy-three days, starting from that night.

This was not enough to bridge the gap between him and me, and I tried to catch up, hoping to tell him that the momentary impulse was worth it.

I don't dye my hair, he said it looks beautiful; I don't get a third ear piercing, he said it won't hurt, I don't smoke or drink, he said it's good for your health, I don't wear revealing clothes when going out, he said I won't catch a cold.

He said that if you dye your hair, you will find that black hair is more attractive.

I calmed down little by little, saved money to buy him a gift, stayed in the dance studio until the end, and while waiting for him, I checked Dianping.com to find a suitable place to be alone.

He doesn’t go to the cinema because he doesn’t like watching movies; he doesn’t play video games because he is not interested; he doesn’t go shopping because there is no point in wasting time.

I sifted through them one by one, and my favorites were filled with my cautious attempts.

I asked him a week in advance which day he could spare an afternoon for me because he was busy.

I sensibly withdrew from his daily life, not taking the initiative to invite him to dinner or to take a walk in the evening.

As soon as he told me that the meeting was cancelled, even if I had already gone to bed, I would run downstairs and happily walk with him from the teaching building back to the living area.

When I don't see him, I feel itchy like ants crawling in my heart.

Like a drug addict taking drugs, I flipped through his photos in the album over and over again, looking at countless photos of him working, debating, and attending class.

Before going to bed, I closed my eyes and thought about his appearance. Even his facial features were blurry, but there was still a beam of light shining from behind him, like a faint halo.

He says, relationship needs to be maintained, tell me whatever you do, I will see.

So our chat box was filled with my long and short green bubbles, interspersed with countless gray time frames.

He will reply to me when he has time, but it's usually the last one at the bottom.

He replied to me and I guessed what he was doing now?
I never asked him what he was doing.

I put my entire life into words and presented them to him, hoping that a small image of me would appear before his busy eyes, doing all kinds of things.

Isn't the reason he chats with me just to get some spiritual comfort in his busy life?

I wait, I accompany, I change for him.

I don't go out on dates with my friends because I'm always afraid that he will suddenly finish something and need me, and it would be such a pity if I wasn't there.

The noodles between him and me seemed like they were stolen from someone unknown. Every time I saw them, it seemed like one less side. I wanted to hold on to each side tightly and chew on them for a long, long time.

I love every time he appears in my memory. Every time I feel I love him so much is when he is not by my side.

I think love should be like this, independent, self-consistent, not craving for meaningless meetings and companionship, meeting at the top.

Sometimes I don’t send him a message for a week. When I don’t have time or content to share with him, the chat box becomes blank.

I cleaned up the tablet memory, and found that the records of the file transfer assistant occupied 4G. The chat memory with him was far at the end of the list. When I first met him, I had to swipe twice to see the ordinary chats other than the pinned ones in his work group.

Sometimes when I was having dinner with him, the overhead light would move behind him in a trance, and the facial features of the man in front of me would become blurred, with only the light shining.

I like the light on him so much that it attracts me, a dumb moth, and I rush to the fire without saying a word.

At that time, I thought, it would be great if it could be like this for the rest of my life.

I can be his audience forever. He doesn't need to be close to me, and he doesn't need to come off the stage and hold my hand. He shouldn't do that.

He just stood there.

As long as I am by his side, he will always have a stage, a light, he can always speak, and I can always listen.

There is almost three years difference between us in age. Whenever he looks back at me, I feel like a stray kitten being touched by a human.

How come he's with me?
How can I be with him?
What do I have to become to be worthy of standing with him?
How can I keep his attention on me?

Even though we studied in the same school, we rarely saw each other.

I have work to do, and so does he, even more and heavier than mine.

But he would set aside one lunch a week for me, we would sit together and eat, and then go our separate ways.

It feels so good, we are all busy with work, working hard individually and together for a better future.

But what will our future look like?
Will we ever have an end?
What if we had a family?
Are you also together less than you are apart, and do you also have little communication?
I don’t know, and I dare not think about it.

(End of this chapter)