Can not doing what one wants be called rebirth?

Chapter 185 183. Light Bulb

"Kiss?"

Guan Yongyi was startled, her eyelashes fluttering, she pointed to the back of her hand, and glanced at her best friend beside her.

"That's it?"

"Is this called a kiss?"

The short-haired girl turned over the back of her fair hand and couldn't help laughing.

"What do you mean by that look! Guan Yongyi!"

Zhou Si Ning's pretty face flushed, and she gently twisted her forearm, her tone a little shy.

“Not really.”

"It goes a little deeper than that."

Girlfriends often gossip with each other, but it is the first time for the two of them to discuss these details of their interactions with men.

"So it's this kind of kiss?"

Guan Yongyi stretched out his finger, pointed at the girl's delicate face between her brown hair, and asked.

"Oh, here."

Zhou Si Ning held her best friend's fingers and stroked them from the edge of her cheek to her rosy lips.

"Huh? Such rapid progress!"

Guan Yongyi propped himself up with his left arm, sat closer to his sister, put his arm around her shoulders, and his dark pupils seemed to be filled with light.

"Did I hear you right? You guys are so close?"

After that, she gently stuck out a small part of her tongue, gave an example herself, and signaled to the other party.

"Yes"

Zhou Si Ning pulled her knees back, held her chin with both hands, and two sweet dimples appeared at the corners of her mouth.

Her best friend's lifelike movements always made her recall that blushing and heart-pounding night.

But how did she learn it so well?
"When? Wait, first kiss! Zhou Si Ning! So you two have already..."

After learning the truth, Guan Yongyi took a deep breath and widened his eyes.

Does kissing not mean they are together?

But she had only said half of the final words before she swallowed them down.

grunt.

It doesn’t seem to count.

All the alcohol molecules seemed to suddenly rise into the air at the same moment. Her originally blurry eyes became clear, and her mind had never been so clear.

"Is it that day? On the night of the 10th, you asked me how we could be together?"

Guan Yongyi squeezed the sofa cushion so tightly that veins bulged out.

"Wow, you are indeed good sisters. You even remember such a small thing~"

Zhou Si Ning giggled, her soft voice unable to conceal her happiness.

It makes sense.

Looking at the happy smile in the other person's eyes, Guan Yongyi instantly understood everything.

[You say, how can two people be considered together? ]

The question my best friend asked me seemed silly at first.

But it is a normal reaction of girls after kissing.

She couldn't help but feel a sour bubble rising in her heart, and tried to keep her voice calm as she continued to ask.

"What did I say then? Confession. So did he confess?"

"No!"

Zhou Si Ning shook her head, but a smile still remained on her lips.

"That's it."

The short-haired girl breathed a sigh of relief.

"But I confessed to him."

"???"

"I said I liked him."

Zhou Si Ning pursed her lips, her big watery eyes curved into an arch. When she mentioned Lu Jincheng, her dimples seemed to be firmly embedded in the corners of her mouth, and her whole body exuded a sweet breath of love.

"That's good. It really looks like you."

Guan Yongyi was almost incoherent. He tried his best to keep his mind clear, and tried hard to put himself in the third person and say words that were consistent with his position.

Yeah, yes, that's right.

This is Zhou Si Ning.

If the moon hasn't come out yet, she will go there by herself.

This is exactly her character as always. Once she makes up her mind, she will be brave and decisive, frank and enthusiastic.

How can any boy resist Zhou Si Ning?
She is so nice.

Not like myself at all.

Guan Yongyi suddenly understood a sentence written by Salinger in "The Heart of a Broken Story".

When she read the book, she just felt that the author was being pretentious.

——Love is a hand that wants to touch but pulls back, love is a heart that is trembling without being touched.

But now, she found herself looking in a mirror.

I want to touch but I'm afraid, I want to possess but I retreat.

Isn't this yourself?
Guan Yongyi is as timid as a mouse and can only escape.

"So I told you, baby, it's okay to be a shield, just let him help you?"

Zhou Si Ning stretched out her legs and placed them on the coffee table not far away, her feet swaying left and right. Her ten delicate toes painted with dark red nail polish were full of delicacy and sexiness.

She said this with a smile. In her opinion, Lu Jincheng had a variety of tricks and it would only take a few minutes to help her best friend deal with an annoying suitor.

"never mind."

Guan Yongyi lowered his head, expressionless, as if he had made up his mind.

"Don't bother him. I can handle this kind of thing myself."

"Let's go and wash up."

She finished washing up first and applied an essence mask. When Zhou Si Ning also walked into the bathroom, the short-haired girl was finally completely awake.

She tied up her hair, walked to the speaker in flip-flops, turned on her phone and played a song out of habit, trying to ease her complicated emotions.

"If you can't be jealous openly
Learn to accept generously
Stay behind when traveling together
Who neglects old friends~"

This song is "Light Bulb" by Stephy Tang.

After singing only four short sentences, Guan Yongyi suddenly felt empty inside, and then he was filled with an unquenchable panic.

She immediately pressed the pause button and the piano sound stopped abruptly.

No.

Not right.

My thoughts are almost written on my face.

If she understood the song, she would definitely think more about it.

Forget it, let’s change it.

Let's change to a more cheerful song, this one.

——Kay Tse’s “Invitation Street”.

"Forget the one you loved

The wedding invitation was printed with gold foil.

The wall with framed wedding photos
And all the beautiful old times will be removed at the same time tomorrow~"

As he listened, Guan Yongyi felt a pang of sadness in his heart. He rubbed his eyes and cheeks, manually adjusting his emotions.

She walked to the center of the living room, squatted down, picked up the photo frame of the three of them, and wiped the dust off it.

I looked at it for a long time.

"Guan Guan! There are no more wet wipes~"

There was a sound from the bathroom.

"Hey, here it comes, I'll get it for you!"

The short-haired girl quickly turned the photo frame upside down, took out a pack of wet wipes from the living room storage cabinet, passed by the floor-length mirror to look at her face, and tried to force a smile.

After both of them finished washing up and lying side by side on the big bed in the master bedroom, the Boudoir Night Talk column started again.

This time, it’s an even more explosive topic.

"I'm telling you, I must have bought the wrong shade of Laperla."

Zhou Si Ning sat lazily on the chair in front of the dressing stool, her pajamas only reaching her thighs. Her long, white legs were crossed, and she used a towel to gently wipe the ends of her hair that had accidentally gotten wet.

"Didn't you buy two sets? I think they look pretty good."

“No, I didn’t mean the color.”

"It's Size. You're really something. Are you having secondary growth spurt again?"

Guan Yongyi sat up, his eyes drifting to the snow-white part of her chest.

"No, this year Laperla's designs have front clasps and side clasps. There are no back clasps. I didn't know that. I thought there were only front clasps. When I came back to check, I found that the side clasps seem to be more suitable for Asian women."

"What should I do? Go to the counter to change it?"

"My mother sent it from Shanghai. How can any store here exchange it?"

"Then I'll change it next time I go to SKP."

“But I want to wear it.”

"Zhou Si Ning! You're in such a hurry to change into new underwear, isn't it a little too obvious?"

The short-haired girl curled her lips and couldn't help but complain.

"Hahahahaha, no way, don't talk nonsense."

Zhou Si Ning wiped her hair with a smile, then leaned against the head of the bed and waved her hand.

"Who are you trying to put it on for? Your boyfriend?"

Guan Yongyi deliberately emphasized the last few words.

"Don't come on. How can a man understand this?"

Zhou Si Ning's eyebrows curved, but she no longer denied the title like she did when she entered the room.

But my best friend didn't say anything, she just reached out her hand.

Snapped!
"What are you doing! You female hooligan!"

Guan Yongyi opened the side buckle with one hand in two seconds, with smooth movements.

"Ha, that's not necessarily true."

Maybe a man doesn't understand the brand, but he will definitely understand how to interpret it.

"Can you please be more reserved? You just unlocked the kissing and you're already planning to wear a set of underwear. I really don't know what to say to you."

Guan Yongyi couldn't help but tap her forehead, wanting to say something but stopping himself.

"No, Guan Guan, don't be angry. I won't be like that."

Zhou Si Ning put her arm around her best friend and lay down next to her.

"I'm not angry! Don't misunderstand me, I'm just worried that you'll be taken advantage of, you understand."

"I know!"

Zhou Si Ning's long eyelashes fluttered, and she always felt that her best friend's reaction was a little intense.

"never mind."

Guan Yongyi sighed: "Anyway, with the way you are doing, it's only a matter of time. It's useless for me to say anything."

Take advantage?
He also told others that he gave his first kiss to someone without thinking clearly.

What right does she have to criticize others?

Thinking of this, Guan Yongyi's eyes darkened and he lost all confidence.

"Oh, by the way, let me tell you, last time I asked him who was prettier, me or Miao Keyan, do you think he understood?"

"What do you understand?" "I'm jealous! Is this hard to understand?"

".He must understand, but I think he will pretend not to understand."

Guan Yongyi gritted his teeth and clenched his fingers in the dark.

"Huh? Why?"

Zhou Si Ning was curious.

"Sister, are you stupid? Not counting other companies, he is making eight figures from just one Taobao store. Do you know how many girls will throw themselves at a man like this?"

Guan Yongyi rolled his eyes at her and patiently explained.

"Raw attack?"

"It's just a life-and-death struggle. No plans for the future, no romantic relationships, just give the money."

"."

Zhou Si Ning stopped talking.

"I deal with these kinds of shitty things every day in my law firm, and even a small boss worth seven figures can have a lot of beautiful women around. Do you know what it means to be young and promising?"

"Let's put it this way. If he accepts everyone, let alone Mu Keyan, he can have a different bed partner seven days a week."

Every word Guan Yongyi wrote is heart-wrenching.

".So exaggerated?"

Even if Zhou Si Ning had imagined this problem, imagination is just imagination, and it is definitely not as real as the actual experience of Guan Yongyi, a front-line legal assistant.

"I've put it very mildly."

Guan Yongyi said rapidly, "If you really want to be with him, I advise you to be prepared to turn a blind eye."

"No, where are you standing?"

The more Zhou Si Ning listened, the more uncomfortable she felt.

"Of course I support you! But the truth is hard to hear. If you get jealous every day because of some trivial and insignificant girls, he will lose patience with you sooner or later."

"He is doing this job. You want him to keep a distance from girls? How? Fire Miao Keyan? She is the Golden Phoenix!"

Guan Yongyi patted her best friend's shoulder and spoke earnestly.

"So what if he's fired? I can just help him make the money back."

Zhou Si Ning's voice became lower and lower. Facing the short-haired girl's meaningful gaze, she knew she was in the wrong and lowered her head.

"Then tell me, Guan Guan, if you were his girlfriend, would you really be able to not be jealous at all?"

She delivered a heart-wrenching blow.

"me."

Guan Yongyi hugged his knees, looked out the window with a leisurely gaze, and there was a hint of loneliness in his tone.

"It's impossible not to be jealous at all, but I can ignore most people."

"What do those people in the company mean? The girl who can make me jealous must be at least as good as me and competitive."

"We lawyers are rational and logical, not as emotional as you are."

Zhou Si Ning seemed to be thinking about something.

After a long silence, she smiled brightly at her best friend.

"Guan Guan, I understand. You are really amazing!"

"I'm not that great, just go to sleep."

"Good night."

After saying good night to each other, Guan Yongyi could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

She pulled out a pair of Bluetooth headphones, blocked out the sounds and emotions, and took off her disguise and mask.

There was a lot to digest alone tonight.

But she still had to put on a smile, pretend to be happy for her best friend, and give her sincere blessings.

This feeling of being filled with depression but having no one to vent to is extremely frustrating.

Put on headphones, and the piano sound of the prelude of "Light Bulb" sounded again.

This time I don’t have to care about other people’s feelings, I’m alone in the middle of the night.

Listen alone.

"Festival about me the celebration of the Trinity
The bright lights along the way reflect the heavy
The hotter the words, the colder the heart

Who was unintentional in bringing the two together?
Then only this lonely person is left
Still your close friends staring at you kissing passionately
Should I feel sad or happy~"

The night was long and Guan Yongyi's sadness was silent.

Yes, before I knew it, I, who was still their close friend, could only stare at Zhou Si Ning as she reached the finish line.

She accepted the kiss happily and said openly that she loved me. The ending of their mutual love seemed to be illuminated by the moon outside the window.

From then on, flowers bloomed on the road and there was no more darkness.

The light was so bright that it was blinding, so dazzling that it made one feel ashamed of oneself.

It turns out that once you are sure of your feelings, you can express them out loud?

She never hated her own twists.

What if you realize that you like someone and then run over and confess to him/her first?
So, could it be me who is standing next to Lu Jincheng?

That's too late.

Thinking about these things will only make you look more like a clown. It's too late now.

Drawing a clear line with Lu Jincheng, oh no, my best friend’s boyfriend, is what I must do next.

Recalling the complete timeline, Guan Yongyi couldn't help but feel filled with anger. He opened Lu Jincheng's dialog box and wanted to scold him.

You are such a scumbag with no bottom line!
You've already kissed her, haven't you?
Why are you still messing with me!

Do you know that you are playing both sides? !

[She told me that I should be nice to her from now on and we should not contact each other unless there is something else.]

In the darkness, Guan Yongyi hunched over with her back to her best friend and carefully typed a line of words.

The girl's fingertips were a little out of control. She took a deep breath and wanted to press the send button several times, but she couldn't make up her mind.

It was not until she turned her head and looked at Zhou Si Ning's peaceful sleeping face that she took a deep breath again and narrowed her starry eyes.

Hit Send.

This is the best option.

Goodbye, Lu Jincheng.

She put her phone aside and prepared to close her eyes.

【.】

But she had just laid down and had not yet fallen asleep when the other party replied to her message and the screen was flashing.

He's still awake so late?

Guan Yongyi turned on his phone and a message came into view.

【I’m sorry, I can’t do that. 】

【? 】

She immediately replied with a question mark.

[I have made a promise with someone that we will raise Mian Mian together and give it a happy and complete family.]

[I want to work with her to reach the top of the core journals, win the highest honor, and prove to her family that she is good enough, she is worthy of pride, and she can do it. ]

[I will accompany her to see all living things and the world until she finds herself.]

Bitterness and memories surged into my heart, and my body began to tremble as my fingertips led me to do so.

The three WeChat messages were like bullets, one after another, hitting the same spot.

The best marksman doesn't need to aim.

Hey, hey, hey.

Repeatedly piercing her heart.

【.】

Her eyes were red for a moment, she sniffed softly, typed and deleted repeatedly, but couldn't think of what to reply.

She was distraught.

[Don't contact me? I really can't do that. I want to contact you no matter if I have something to do or not.]

Before Guan Yongyi could organize his words, the next message from the other party lit up again.

Big drops of tears fell on the screen, smudged the white font, and she couldn't see clearly.

Before she could wipe it off with her sleeve, the last one came again.

She lifted a corner of the pillowcase, cleaned the screen first, and then rubbed her eyes.

She seemed to be able to see clearly.

The world is blurry and clear.

If the first three points are enough to see through people's hearts, then this is a real killer.

[Because I like you, Guan Yongyi. ]

Declaration of doomsday, reversing time and space, and never looking back.

The most touching thing in the world is the true love of a prodigal son.

Confessions of a scumbag.

My bestie has complained about this more than once, saying that he doesn't know how to confess his feelings. He is used to letting things take their course, and he doesn't have the awareness or ability to do so.

The short-haired girl stared at the phone, pressed her mouth tightly, buried her face in the pillow, sobbed silently, and her shoulders shook like a sieve.

The confession that Zhou Si Ning had been longing for was now in her hand.

Tears and snot mixed together to form two parallel transparent tracks.

It was as if all the water in her body was released in one breath. She didn't bother to tidy herself up. She lost all her image and held the phone in both hands.

【I like you, too. 】

Guan Yongyi replied to the message.

This is her style, her own style.

As always, keep it brief.

Only by removing the coldness can you find the warmth.

【.Not pretending anymore? 】

[You dare to confess to me behind your girlfriend's back, why should I pretend? ]

Before putting down her phone, she swiped her finger across to the WeChat group named [Ran Dong], right-clicked, and blocked the message.

Let’s just take Lu Jincheng’s statement that the three of them lived a good life as a joke.

"Can you admit that I deliberately became the light bulb?

It won't be difficult to substitute when you finish the game someday
Good people hide the worst intentions
I wish one day you would disperse.

Will you choose me~"

The music in the headphones had just reached the end, and the piano sounded melodious, like an echo.

She raised her head, her messy hair covering her eyes, and suddenly she felt the air in the room was a little suffocating.

Opening the window, she seemed to have returned to the night when she first met Zhou Si Ning.

Three, four or five years old?
That day, she couldn't keep her favorite doll.

The most precious thing was given by the mother to a strange little girl who came to visit. She was smiling while holding the doll, and there was a pair of dimples at the corners of her mouth.

But she cried very sadly. She didn't know what the good friend her mother mentioned meant. She only knew that someone had taken away the most important thing from her.

Innocence finally became a distant memory.

"sorry."

she whispered.

In the dark night, tears wet the snow-white sheets, all the plants are secretly transforming, the wind blows quietly, disorderly and free, the air is cool, and occasionally chills the heart.

Winter is coming.

After writing this chapter, I feel that I can still make a living and sleep by writing books.

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(End of this chapter)