Can not doing what one wants be called rebirth?

Chapter 112 110. New Intimacy
A person's temperament is hidden in the roads he has walked, the books he has read, and the people he has loved.

——Eileen Chang.

Lu Jincheng could no longer remember when he had read the book "The Crying Camel".

But when he was struck by Zhong Ruixi's words, the memories of the death suddenly came flooding back, and he remembered almost the same dialogue in the book.

The sincerity and anxiety between Sanmao and Jose were replayed in Zhong Ruixi's eyes, and that moment was extremely moving.

After they finished their dinner and cleared their plates, neither of them suggested going back to the dormitory first. Instead, they walked around the school in tacit understanding.

Go to class together, eat together, and take walks together.

Most college couples actually live such a simple life.

Now, he and Zhong Ruixi are only one step away from success.

That kick was a confession, and Lu Jincheng knew it very well.

Although it was Mr. Lu who attacked her first, he had no intention of confessing his feelings rashly.

In other words, he can be Zhong Ruixi's boyfriend, but not in the traditional sense.

The reason why the white moonlight in the previous life is so moving is precisely because it is unattainable.

If you cannot get what you want, all of a person's strengths will be magnified and many good things will be attributed to him or her.

In his previous life, Mr. Lu was a man of many pleasures, and it was this unfulfilled desire that drove him forward, making him feel that his life was incomplete many times.

No matter how hard I tried, it seemed like a big piece was missing.

He had dreamed countless times that he was in love with Zhong Ruixi.

In this way, Mr. Lu can deceive himself and live like a normal person occasionally.

This was different from the reckless attitude he had when interacting with the goldfish. It was more like another kind of game, a way for him to confront the normal world.

Having an ordinary relationship, watching an ordinary movie, and chatting about ordinary things.

All this would have been boring to Mr. Lu, unless it was an unpolished gem like Zhong Ruixi.

Fortunately, he was lucky enough and God gave him a chance to start over.

Taking a walk always seems to lengthen the time.

The two walked out of the path one after the other, and in front of them was a lawn. A few familiar calico cats were lying on it, meowing at them.

"Shall we go feed the kitten again?"

Zhong Ruixi pointed in the direction of the store, eager to try.

"Row."

Lu Jincheng naturally would not refuse, so the two of them bought a few cans of food and some sausages, and squatted in the grass waiting for the cat to come.

"Meow~"

This time is different from last time, Zhong Ruixi is much more popular than him.

Several chubby calico cats were circling around the girl. Even though Lu Jincheng had food in his hands, they refused to rub against him.

"Hey, why aren't they sticking to you this time?"

Zhong Ruixi stroked the cat's head with one hand, listened to the purring sound beside her ear, and looked at the neglected Lu Jincheng with a smile.

"Because they are little male cats."

"What happened to the little tom?"

The girl looked confused.

"I like beautiful women."

Lu Jincheng looked serious.

"Hahahahaha, nonsense!"

"I was a beauty last time too."

Zhong Ruixi chuckled and lowered her head to feed the cat seriously.

Of course, she didn't know that a wild cat's nose is far more sensitive than that of a human.

The scent from the morning still lingered on Lu Jincheng's body.

Even though it was diluted by the car's incense, the kitten could smell it.

Where did you come from, you foreign slave? You are not a wild brother of this area!

Therefore, the calico cats would rather eat slowly than get close to Lu Jincheng.

"Let's go to the playground?"

"Okay."

After feeding the cat, the two walked side by side towards the Nanhu playground.

The playground can be regarded as a love sanctuary for college students, bringing together three major elements: relaxing and leisure activities, a broad and open vision, and a romantic and youthful atmosphere.

It can be said that as long as it is a campus romance, there will be no lack of strolling on the playground.

The night breathed gently in the air, and the light of small street lamps shone through the clouds.

The branches of the willow trees beside the playground rustled in the wind, and the branches and leaves blocked a corner of the moon.

Today is a sunny day. There are so many stars in the night, but humans can only see the moon clearly.

Looking down at the playground from the position of the moon, you can see a man and a woman. They are sitting on the ground facing each other, and he is gently holding the girl's hand.

"You know, when you told me to be a gigolo just now, I was really touched."

Lu Jincheng sat on the soft grass and looked into the girl's eyes.

The playground was bustling with the sounds of various sports and young couples whispering, but at this moment they only had eyes for each other.

"Because you've read that book, too?"

Zhong Ruixi pursed her lips and her eyes curved into beautiful crescents.

"Yes, it's the extracurricular book recommended by the Chinese teacher, The Weeping Camel."

Lu Jincheng nodded.

"So, do you want to say something?"

She straightened her back little by little and looked at him with cautious yet unconcealable expectation in her eyes.

"Don't worry, from now on, if I have a bite to eat, you will have one too."

Lu Jincheng blinked.

"That's it?"

Zhong Ruixi burst out laughing and suddenly felt upset.

"Eating isn't enough! What else do you want to hear?"

Lu Jincheng pinched her palm and felt it was a little damp.

"what"

Zhong Ruixi just looked up at him, feeling that it was a little unreal, but also that it was in line with his mature personality.

But this was not the answer she wanted to hear at all.

She wanted to reach out and poke his face to see if there was a thick mask on it, but she tried hard to hold back.

"You kissed me twice, Lu Jincheng."

Under the moonlight, Zhong Ruixi's voice was soft.

"what?"

He thought there would be progress, but he didn't expect Zhong Ruixi to start with such a straight ball breakthrough.

This sentence is equivalent to two people arguing and one of them suddenly overturns the card table.

The next sentence will be All-in, do you want to follow it?
Lu Jincheng was stunned and froze in place.

"Lv Jincheng, I thought about it. Although we have had some deviant behavior before, after such a long time, I don't think you have done anything."

Zhong Ruixi half raised her chin and looked at him firmly.

"Maybe we're best suited as friends. I'm a rookie in relationships and I don't know how to flirt. I've gotten myself into this mess before."

"It's dangerous to play with you. You might die without knowing how."

The light lengthened Zhong Ruixi's shadow. Under the black outline, her high ponytail looked heroic, just like Sailor Moon.

Zhong Ruixi pulled back the hand that was in the man's palm, clasped their arms together, and announced a result.

"What do you mean?"

Lu Jincheng was stunned for a moment, then subconsciously uttered a sentence, as if he was organizing his thoughts.

"What I mean is, let's take a step back and please don't touch me again in the future." Zhong Ruixi sniffed, suppressed his grievances, straightened his chest, and his tone became calm.

"Have you figured it out?"

"Yes, I don't want to hear those ambiguous words from you. We are either classmates or friends. It would be impolite to go any further."

"I disagree."

Lu Jincheng nodded to show that he understood, but his response was clearer than hers.

"?"

Zhong Ruixi bit her lip and said nothing.

"But I don't want to be your classmate or friend at all."

Lu Jincheng said seriously.

"So what do you want to do with me?"

The girl blurted out the question, and only after she asked did she realize that this question was full of other meanings for a single man and a single woman.

"No, I mean, what are your plans, for the two of us?"

She quickly changed her words, hesitating a bit.

"I"

But he hesitated.

Zhong Ruixi keenly noticed this hesitation, and the hope that had just been ignited was extinguished bit by bit.

She became even more upset and interrupted directly.

"Forget it, stop talking."

She should have known the answer.

Zhong Ruixi was too lazy to say more. She supported herself with one hand and tried to stand up and go back to the dormitory, but the man held her firmly in place.

She struggled but couldn't get free, so she could only use her knees to push.

"release!"

She completely lost her patience.

"I do not."

"Lv Jincheng, do you like me or not?"

Zhong Ruixi never seemed to play by the rules; her questions were direct and passionate, but she tried her best to control her expression.

"like."

Lu Jincheng let go of her hand and stood up with her.

"So, do you want to date me?"

Zhong Ruixi asked loudly, his throat and hands trembling violently, his cheeks flushed, and he tried to look cheerful and confident.

There is only one correct answer at this time.

But when facing his white moonlight, Mr. Lu could not muster any intention to deceive her.

"I have not decided yet."

The smile on Zhong Ruixi's face froze and quickly turned cold.

She frowned, her chest heaving, her lips moving slightly, as if words were on the tip of her tongue but she couldn't say them.

The silence was deafening, she clenched her fists, turned and walked away.

Lu Jincheng took a few steps over and grabbed her arm.

"Let go!"

Zhong Ruixi said coldly.

"Don't let it go."

The man said in a calm tone.

Zhong Ruixi looked at him with sharp eyes: "Lv Jincheng, I asked you a serious question, but you didn't answer me seriously, so let's stop here."

"Ray, what is a relationship?"

Lu Jincheng asked.

"Are you stupid?"

Zhong Ruixi blurted out.

"I'm not. My question is very simple. What kind of relationship do you want?"

The girl realized that he didn't seem to be joking and her expression softened a little.

"I just said it very clearly, and you understood it."

"A boy you like, he also likes you, the two of you share your daily life together, happily together, and then move towards a stronger intimate relationship, and even get married and have children, is this what you call being in love?"

Zhong Ruixi took a deep breath and tried to control his emotions: "It's almost there, what's wrong?"

"So I was a little scared to get into a relationship like that."

"Didn't you just say you liked me? What did you mean?"

Zhong Ruixi said half of his words and swallowed the second half.

Lu Jincheng knew that she wanted to say that she liked it too.

"Because I am afraid of establishing intimate relationships. As you know, I work in an MCN studio and I come into contact with a lot of girls. I will definitely get closer and closer to them in the future."

"For example, we have a fixed live broadcast room. Sometimes we work too late, and many colleagues may stay overnight in the live broadcast room and live together."

"If we were in a relationship, you would be jealous, you would lose your temper, you would think I have no sense of boundaries, and you would doubt whether I love you or not."

"But my career is my plan for the future, and no one can change it. I like you, but I won't change my life just because I like someone."

Lu Jincheng paused, stared into Zhong Ruixi's eyes, and continued.

"I like you, but if you want the kind of love that ordinary people have, and the sense of security of having someone to love you."

“Maybe I can’t give it to you.”

Zhong Ruixi became more and more excited as she listened, and couldn't help but raise her voice and shouted, "So you're just going to watch me walk away?"

"I can lie to you and make you agree, but I really care about you, so I don't want to do that."

"Because it will only waste your youth and cause you more harm."

Lu Jincheng said in a deep voice.

"I don't care about any of that!"

Zhong Ruixi clutched his clothes tightly, her eyes filled with tears and her voice full of emotion.

"Lv Jincheng, I don't want to hear these concerns. Just tell me, do you want to be with me?"

"I think."

As soon as he said this, the girl couldn't control herself anymore and simply put her arms around his neck and stood on tiptoe.

She kissed him.

This time there was no one to lead.

Zhong Ruixi didn't know how to open his mouth or lift his tongue, he just pressed his soft lips forward desperately, which was very clumsy.

That kind of stubbornness almost broke the other person's heart and lips.

When she loosened her arms, panting, Lu Jincheng held her cheek and left a simple kiss on her beauty mark.

This time, Zhong Ruixi finally smiled.

She quietly turned her head and secretly wiped away the tears that overflowed from the corners of her eyes.

"Let's go back. We have classes tomorrow."

"Ah."

The two held hands as they left the playground.

In the manner of a couple, palms are placed against palms, fingers are tightly interlocked.

Pushed by the evening breeze, they walked towards the girls' dormitory building of the School of Management.

"I understand. Everyone has their own life plan."

"From now on, I will try not to be jealous."

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(End of this chapter)