History of Women in the Wei Dynasty

Chapter 125 A Scented Mission (Enter at Your Own Risk)
"For example... if you participate in a mission and then back out halfway through, or if you're cowardly and find various excuses not to finish, you'll be severely punished! If you fail to complete a mission within the allotted time, you'll be lightly punished! If you injure innocent people or cause trouble or fights during a mission, you'll be moderately punished! There are many other rules and regulations, but I won't tell you in advance. If you're not happy about it, keep it to yourself!"

Zhou Tai, who was about to ask a question, shut up.

Clerk Gou's tone immediately softened as he reassured him, "Don't worry, the heaviest punishment is to keep grinding grain."

That's good, those academic underachievers can rest assured.

“Punishing you is not the point. The governor has good intentions. He hopes that you will truly take your studies to heart and not be reckless and adventurous when you should be studying. Otherwise, you will regret it when you are too old to do so.”

Qiu Ruizhi muttered, "Hmph, he insults people without using foul language."

Yuan Hui, who ranked last in the joint examination for the Erya textbook by eight branches last month, said angrily, "Isn't this dirty?"

Gou, the registrar, pretended not to hear and shouted, "Anyone who thinks they have the courage and is willing to fight for this white horse, come with me."

These young men, full of youthful vigor and ambition, would never back down in public.
Eighteen academic underachievers, four girls, and fourteen boys, all walked with their heads held high and strides ahead.

Registrar Gou and Military Advisor Huli led Hai Yeren and the others to an empty warehouse, which contained eighteen long desks, arranged in three rows and six columns. Each desk was occupied by people sitting on one side, judging from their clothing and appearance, they were laborers who did hard labor year-round.

Zhou Tai was overwhelmed by the smell in the warehouse and couldn't help but ask, "What used to be stored in this warehouse? Why does it smell so... so strange?" It wasn't just smelly, it was even worse than smelly!

The four women, Yuan Langxi, Hu Ertiao, Qiu Mang, and Changsun Zhi, were so disgusted by the smell that they kept swallowing their saliva to suppress their nausea.

The clerk explained perfunctorily: "The abandoned storeroom. Alright, everyone choose a seat and you can't change seats after you sit down. Changing seats, leaving your desk, or assaulting the servants at your desk will be considered a violation of the rules for this round of tasks and you will be punished."

The underachievers loved to grab the seats at the back, which were taken by Yuan Langxi, Changsun Fuming, and Yuan Hui, who had the longest legs. The second to last row was occupied by Hai Yeren, Hu Ertiao, and Xi Jing, while the first row consisted of Qiu Mang, who was uninterested in anything, Zhou Tai, who had a shallow stomach and always felt like gagging, and Changsun Chu, who was the youngest and always daydreaming.

Clerk Gou: "Now I'm announcing the first task. Listen carefully."

"The laborers who share your desks are all tribal laborers who do not speak the Han language. From now on, you are the teachers and they are the apprentices. Within half an hour, you must find a way to teach your apprentices to pronounce four characters and write them correctly."

"These four words mean...broom, to welcome."

"You may use the paper, ink, and brush on the desk as you see fit, but you must not tear the paper. Remember the rules of the task: leaving the desk or being violent towards your apprentice is tantamount to admitting defeat and accepting punishment."

"Set the time now, and wait for my command."

Hulü Wild Wolf placed a water clock at the base of the wall in front of him.

As the first drop of water fell, Registrar Gou, with his hands behind his back, said, "Begin!"

"It's starting already?" Zhou Tai was the first to react. He took a piece of white paper and moved it in front of the laborer. While grinding ink, he tentatively asked, "Can you understand what I'm saying?"

The laborers craned their necks, staring at him without daring to blink.

Oh no, this task is actually very difficult! Zhou Tai's confidence vanished in an instant, and he fell off the cliff.

Hu Ertiao, Hai Yeren, Yuan Langxi, and others with impatient tempers had already started shouting.

Hu Ertiao: "Quick! Repeat after me! Broom."

Hai Yeren: "Look at my mouth, the broom."

Yuan Langxi: "Why are you staring at me? Repeat after me! Broom, broom, are you deaf? Why are you staring at me?!"

The sounds of angrily slamming his fist on the desk continued to echo.

"Broom, broom, broom! Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh—" Hai Yeren's nostrils flared from the breath. After taking three deep breaths, he ground ink.

Swoosh swoosh swoosh...

More and more academically challenged students are joining the ranks of those grinding ink.

Twenty breaths later, only two people still insisted on teaching pronunciation first: Changsun Fuming and Qiu Mang.

Amidst the clattering of ink grinding, one of the two men could be heard teaching: "Silk, swirl, oh, broom, don't rush, look at my mouth, hey, right, silk, swirl, swirl."

After a moment, Qiu Mang said, "Forget about brooms, they're too difficult. Let's learn the second word first, 'xi'ang xiang'ang... ying, xiang ying, xiang... yi ying ying'."

Swoosh swoosh swoosh swoosh... Qiu Mang began grinding ink.

Just as the underachievers were wondering if these laborers were mute, the laborer Qiu Ruizhi had taught finally spoke. "Shao Elbow."

Qiu Ruizhi's method was to draw a broom on paper and point to the broom picture to teach the other person.

But the moment the laborer opened his mouth, it was as if a stagnant, foul-smelling cellar had burst open!
Qiu Ruizhi retched, nearly vomiting his breakfast. He knew what the smell in the room was like: bad breath!
Ugh... How can someone have such a foul mouth?

The underachievers around him only saw what they were eager to see, and they all copied Qiu Ruizhi by drawing brooms on paper. Forget about "welcoming" them; they wanted to teach them how to use a broom first.

Haiye Ren's "apprentice" also spoke up. "Sweep the boat."

Haiye Ren felt a warm, foul-smelling breeze brush against his face. He immediately covered his lower lip with his upper teeth, turned his face to the side to get some fresh air, and then corrected the other person's pronunciation: "broom."

"Few, axis".

No, Haiye Ren's mouth twitched from the stench. He quickly recalled the image of the white horse and imagined its majestic presence on horseback. Surprisingly, he managed to suppress his nausea and insisted on teaching the other person, "Sweep, sweep."

"Shut up."

Yuan Langxi, sitting in the last row, was wiping away tears as he taught. Half of his tears came from anger, and the other half from the smell of the laborers' fumes.

The gatekeeper, Huli Yelang, was full of admiration and whispered to the registrar, "Where did the governor gather all these people?"

"They're hard to find. They're either people who spend years collecting corpses in the dungeon or people who clean pigsties."

"Does the registrar think they are capable of being churchbred?"

"You've spent most of your life without learning Han language, and you think you can learn it in half an hour?" Chief Clerk Gou said, glancing at the water clock to remind the underachievers, "A quarter of an hour has passed."

Zhou Tai resolutely abandoned teaching the laborers to read and decided to teach them to write first.

As time passed, the outside became warm from the sun.

The water clock inside the room dripped again.

Hulü Wild Wolf reminded: "Two quarters of an hour have passed."

A quarter of an hour later, Clerk Gou reminded everyone: "Gentlemen, you must hurry up."

"No, I feel terrible. I accept the penalty this time." Zhou Tai covered his mouth and ran out of the warehouse to vomit.

Changsun Fuming stood up, held his breath, kept his mouth tightly shut, pointed to himself, and then to the desk.

Run outside!

"Huff—huff—" He only dared to catch his breath and shout after he got outside: "I accept the penalty for this round too."

With a "rip," Changsun Chu tore a strip of paper, rolled it into small pieces, and stuffed it into his nostrils.

Hulü Wild Wolf went over and dragged the brat who was pretending to be stupid out of the house.

"Ah!" Yuan Langxi suddenly exclaimed with joy, "He can write! I taught him to write broom, I taught him to write broom."

Xi Jing, who was ahead of her, looked back nervously and scoffed, "Bullshit! The '彐' radicals of '扫' and '帚' don't even point in the same direction, and you call that learning to write?"

Clerk Gou: "Alright, half an hour is up. The first task is complete. Has anyone taught the apprentice?"

(End of this chapter)