I am a god in the secret world

Bai Cha barely fell asleep until around four in the morning.

But I woke up at seven in the morning because of my biological clock.

My eyes were sore and I wanted to lie down for a while, but I couldn’t fall asleep.

Helpless, Bai Cha had to get up and wash his face.

She picked up her phone and took a look, and found that Shen Qingchen had sent her a message at two or three o'clock in the morning.

Shen Qingchen: I came out of the dungeon and will tell you about your skills in general.

Shen Qingchen: When I entered the dungeon, I tried it and found that I can indeed give you my power through your skills. I don’t know how it is on your side, but I can definitely do it on my side. Your skills require people to sincerely give you power in order to be successful. I don’t know how much you know about your own skills.

Shen Qingchen: I can probably sense that this sincerity must be without regrets, and must not contain any other emotions. For example, if it is resentment, the power can be given to you, but the resentment should also be transferred to you. This can be seen by observing the situation in your previous copy.

Therefore, your skill most likely requires you to maintain interpersonal relationships. Skills are generally developed based on personal circumstances. Some are character traits, and some are certain physical characteristics. You are not a person who likes to interact with others, but you are a person who lacks love.

So I think maybe for you in reality, what you need is love.

Shen Qingchen: I didn't want to talk about this originally, but I've become more nagging recently. I'm still very scared, but fortunately I've told my husband. Although there are many things I can't tell him, it does feel much better than before.

In fact, even now, I still cannot be a very calm person, and I don’t know if we will have the chance to meet again. I really see my former self in you.

Baicha, do you have something you like? People, things, objects, is there anything in this world that you can feel passionate about?

Shen Qingchen: No matter what the game is like, no matter what kind of world you enter at the end, this game can never have any positive impact on reality, so we can only find a way ourselves.

Shen Qingchen: The next time I will enter the game will be in seven days, so I may have to ask you to enter the game again. This will be my fifth game, and there will only be four left after that. I'm troubled to accompany me for these five times.

Shen Qingchen: Transfer 20000 yuan to you.

Shen Qingchen: Take the money. I will give you the rest of the money before entering the game each time. I can’t let you help me for nothing. You are also in danger in the game. This amount of money may be too little.

Bai Cha read the message in silence, then got up and boiled a pot of hot water.

She was in a daze while waiting for the hot water to boil.

She felt that her mood had been a little too low these past two days.

But it is true that what has happened in the past few months has made it difficult for her to be cheerful.

She now has a feeling that she doesn't know where her life is going.

It was as if there was a layer of white fog all around.

Countless things were entangled with her, and most of them were related to the past.

Even games.

She didn't know which direction she should go.

She actually doesn't have anything she likes, and she can't think of anything she likes.

She may like flowers, because they are beautiful, but that’s just the way it is. She doesn’t love them to the point of collecting pictures of all kinds of beautiful flowers and seeing all the shapes of each type of flower.

She also likes to buy pretty little dresses, but there's nothing wrong with her walking around in her pajamas every day without washing her hair or face.

Of course she likes Xu Shengsheng and his family. After all, they are her relatives in this world.

The personalities of their family of three were what she envied the most, but that was also something she could never fit in, she was out of place.

She also likes her friends. In fact, she sometimes chats with her roommates in the group during her free time, although now that they mostly complain after working.

But she also cannot accept staying with her friends all the time. She prefers making friends with a sense of distance, supporting each other when they need each other, having someone to go out with when she wants to go out, and being alone the rest of the time. She thinks this is the most ideal state of making friends.

But more often than not, she actually screws it up.

Just like, she couldn't fully and calmly accept the kindness of Bai Fengrui's family, and was also resisting getting overly close to them.

She had not known Shen Qingchen for long, but she had talked to him about mental arithmetic the most, or rather, he had brought it up on his own initiative. She really wanted to be someone like Shen Qingchen.

But she also knows that people are different.

In the copy, she would advise others to find what they want, but in fact she herself doesn't know what she wants.

At some point, she will feel that life is meaningless. She is exhausted from running around in the game every day, and reality is a mess. Her whole life is just a single line.

There is neither pursuit nor goal, and everything done seems to be just out of some obsession.

Yes, obsession.

Bai Cha looked at his right index finger and found that there was no tattoo there in real life.

But in the game, there is a red butterfly tattoo here.

Obsession...

Why did it happen?
Finding memories of the past?

In fact, although she had no memory of the past, she could roughly guess what happened during this period.

Her parents are gamers, and she was likely involved in gaming as a child.

From those fragmentary words and vague fragmented dreams, it is not difficult to see that perhaps her mother disappeared because she didn't want her to enter the game so early, or simply didn't want her to enter the game.

She never played the game on behalf of Yu Zhenzhen, she was just playing it on her own behalf.

Maybe there is another self in the game, just like Heng Yao separated from Qiu Ge.

My father is an emotional man. He cannot accept the departure of my mother, so he inevitably hates himself, which leads to his subsequent behavior.

Or maybe something had already happened to him by then. In short, he died.

They are all gone, and their memories are gone too.

So what is the point of searching for this memory?

It doesn't seem to make any sense.

If she does nothing but enters the game once a month and then slowly gets by, it's actually not a bad idea.

Oh, maybe the Buddha statue wouldn’t agree.

Then just kill her.

Bai Cha thought coldly.

Since you don't care about death, why bother with these things? It's really meaningless.

Many things in life are meaningless, and perhaps human existence itself has no meaning, but she is a person who likes to find some meaning by nature, and she cannot do meaningless things.

To live, you have to find the meaning of living.

Bai Cha sighed.

So she deserved it for worrying too much and worrying too much.

She clicked to receive the transfer.

White Peach Oolong Tea: I received a lot of money. At least for me who is unemployed now, it is enough to last me for a long time.

Originally, they had never talked about money. What was said at the beginning was that Shen Qingchen would give her his props. This was purely out of kindness on Shen Qingchen's part.

Baitao Oolong Tea: Just tell me before you enter the game. I have several games to enter and some props to collect.

These recent pictures should be realistic.