I am a god in the secret world

Chapter 335: [Sharing the same grave] Firm mind

Qiuge didn't know what to say.

She moved her lips for a long time and said, "I'm sorry, it's all my fault..."

White tea: "..."

Bai Cha looked at her with some confusion.

"Why do you want to apologize? You haven't done anything wrong to me. You wanted to run away, but you haven't run away yet, so you haven't done anything wrong to your parents. What are you blaming yourself for?"

Qiuge was completely speechless.

She fell back onto the bed.

After a long while, Qiuge spoke.

"Am I useless... I know what you said is right, and I want to live according to my own wishes, but I can't do it."

Qiuge raised her arms to cover her eyes and hide her tears.

"I really can't do it. My mother is very good to me. She always cares about whether I have eaten well, where I feel uncomfortable, whether I am cold, and whether I want to eat..."

"My father was also very nice. He would always bring me some small toys from outside, and would also take my mother and me out..."

"I really can't let them get dragged down by me. Even though I know that they abandoned me, I still can't do it."

Bai Cha sighed silently.

This is of course normal.

If it were her, she might not be able to do it.

But will I be burned to death?
The plot can't be just this, right?
"If you can't do it, then you can't do it." Bai Cha said.

Qiuge was stunned.

"I said, I only exist because of you."

Bai Cha paused when he said this.

Yes, Hengyao, was he born specifically for Qiuge, or was he born because of her?

Because deep down in her heart she still longs for some changes, longs to do things that she "can't do".

This cannot be done. The reason why it is in quotation marks is because it is not that she cannot do it, but that she is unwilling to do it. There are countless shackles binding her, making her feel that these things should not be done, so she is unwilling to do them.

"Whatever you want to do, I will help you do it. If you don't want to do it, I won't do it."

Bai Cha finished speaking the rest of the words.

If Hengyao was indeed born because of Qiuge, then what is the relationship between the two of them?

Qiuge was very touched and felt even more guilty.

"I'm sorry... I'm so useless. I'm always so indecisive and always procrastinating. Even if I know what I'm going to face, I always want to procrastinate..."

Maybe if she delays any longer, she won't have to make the choice, even if the result is that she will die a miserable death.

But it always ends, doesn't it?
"Hengyao, if you were me, you would definitely choose to run away, right?"

Bai Cha was silent.

She thought about it seriously. No matter what Hengyao was like, she was in this situation.

"No, I won't run away, but I won't sit and wait for death either. I will destroy the Buddha statue. Death is death anyway, so I will destroy it first and then commit suicide. Of course, this is the ideal situation. If I can't destroy it, then I will just commit suicide."

In short, she would never allow herself to be burned to death.

"If I must die, I choose to die by myself. No matter what, the choice must be in my hands."

"After all, as you said, you can't abandon your parents, and neither can I. If I return my life to them, it will be considered as atonement, and I will no longer owe them anything. Then, if I stop being sacrificed, I will also escape my own fate."

Qiuge was stunned.

"Suicide?"

It's not like she hasn't thought about it.

But she was also hesitant.

"But if you think about it, you feel unwilling, right?" Bai Cha asked faintly. Qiu Ge pursed her lips and said nothing.

"I always seem to be like this. No matter what I do, I want to do it but I don't want to do it at the same time... I envy you so much. You can make a choice no matter what. I can't..."

"No or can't?"

Qiu Ge: “…No.”

"Because you are afraid, you are afraid that you can't bear the consequences, but if you don't make a choice, can you bear the consequences? Or do you think that this is not your choice, so no matter what the consequences are, you can blame others, so you don't have to bear the consequences?"

Baicha felt a little overwhelmed and had indeed exhausted his patience.

"I've told you a lot. This is the last time. Even if someone forces you to do something and you do nothing, you still have to bear the consequences because this is your life and this is your last chance."

"Don't call me again, before you make a choice, don't call me again, Qiuge, I can only help you when you make a choice."

After saying this, Baicha shut up completely.

Qiuge started crying again in pain.

It took her a long while to calm down, and she lay there in a daze.

Biyun pushed the door open at this time.

"Miss, are you awake? Why are you crying again?"

Biyun hurried forward to wipe her with a towel and went to get her some water.

Qiuge also sat up, washed his face reluctantly, and felt a little more energetic.

"Miss, the vines outside are blooming beautifully. Do you want to go and have a look?"

Biyun looked at her with pity and wanted to take her out for a walk.

Qiu Ge did not refuse and let the other party pull her all the way to the corridor covered with vines.

The wisteria indeed blooms beautifully, white in color, hanging down from top to bottom, giving a dreamy and unreal feeling.

Biyun seemed to sigh at the side, "It's a pity that this vine has no fragrance, otherwise it would be perfect. What do you think, young lady?"

Qiu Ge didn't know what to say. She looked at the branches of the vine clinging to the beams of the corridor, and suddenly felt sad.

"Am I just like these vines, born to cling to others? If they want to tear me off and burn me, I won't be able to resist."

Biyun lowered her eyes, with a strange look of pity in her expression. She said, "Yes, young lady, how pitiful! Your fate is just like these vines. You are destined to not be able to survive alone."

Qiuge shed tears in big drops.

"Miss, do you want to change?"

White tea: "..."

Oh, this Biyun...

Speaking of which, Qiu Ge has both Biyun and Hengyao by her side, but she can still be so hesitant and indecisive, which really shows her determination.

Qiuge walked in a trance under the corridor. The wind blew, shaking the wisteria flowers.

"I do, of course I do...but what can I do?"

"I can't think of a way to have the best of both worlds. I don't want to die willingly, but I can't bear to watch my parents suffer because of me..."

"I know, maybe I'm just overthinking it. Maybe if I run away, my parents won't actually encounter anything... At most, they will return to their original life, but without me."

"I can't do it..."

Qiuge staggered along, and the sky around him gradually darkened.

A white mist rose.

But she was unaware of all this and kept moving forward.

This corridor is so long, it seems like it will never end.

It was as if she couldn't see the future in her life.

A faint fragrance spread.

(End of this chapter)