Rebirth of a Female General

Chapter 230
"You are probably the only one who can say this with confidence."

Meng Shulan laughed and said, "He is obviously a righteous character, but he can sincerely say that selfishness is not a bad thing."

"Do you remember the first time you said this to me, when was it?"

Meng Shulan asked suddenly.

Regarding Meng Shulan's intentional off-topic, avoiding talking about matters in which he was personally in danger, Yan Qing, who always likes to go straight to the point and discuss the matter, it is rare that he did not refute him, but followed his question and recalled The past of the two.

It's just that she survived two lifetimes, although she didn't live for too long, she experienced many major events during the period, and these trivial things have long been forgotten.

Meng Shulan saw that Yan Qing didn't answer, her eyelashes drooped slightly, she looked at her deeply, and sighed softly: "I was in the bandit village back then, I asked you if I followed the requirements of those bandits and wrote a blood letter to make the emperor agree to the bandit's request, Is it too selfish to exchange several cities for my life?"

"That's what you told me then."

Looking at Yan Qing's blank eyes, Meng Shulan obviously forgot about this matter at all, and sighed, "This is a trivial matter, and you probably just said it casually, but I have been remembering it for many years."

"I lied to you when I said that I came to Xijiang to repay my kindness and protect my family and country."

Meng Shulan leaned half against the city wall, looked at the person in front of her, and told her thoughts that had been buried for many years, "I'm just curious."

"I don't understand how a ten-year-old girl with a black and yellow complexion and a malnourished appearance is not as tall as my shoulders. When she first arrived in the bandit village, she was still submissive. How come he suddenly became the vanguard of suppressing the bandits, with such a small number of people, he dared to kill in the bandit village without blinking an eye."

"Until now, I often think of how you dragged me out of the bandit village back then."

Meng Shulan smiled, the nostalgic look in her eyes faded, she looked at Yan Qing deeply, her eyes were full of affection, her voice was low, scattered in the howling wind, as if nothing seemed to exist, "I was just curious, but I didn't want to fall into it like this go in."

During the short respite, only the wind was heard, but no human words.

Meng Shulan looked at Yan Qing whose face remained unchanged, the sweat on her palms was blown dry by the wind as she confessed, and the cold wind seemed to pour from her palms into her heart.

He knew she heard it, but he didn't know if she understood the deep meaning of his words.

He thought, with her intelligence, she should understand.

But she had always been slow in this matter, and he was not sure.

Because of this uncertainty, Meng Shulan clenched her loosened hand again, pursed her lips, and continued: "I never thought that I would stay in Xijiang for several years at a time. I thought, one or two years at most. After you understand what you want, you can either leave in disappointment, or try everything you can to get what you want.”

"But when I really understood what I wanted, I gave in."

Meng Shulan smiled lightly, as if she had passed through the long river of time, laughing at the entangled self in the past, "I endured the tossing and turning without asking for it, but at the same time, I spurned my impure motives. But I was originally The motives are not pure, and it has been like this from the beginning. Maybe it is because of this that it is more difficult for me to choose."

"I am by your side, as your military adviser, so close to you, but always feel far away from you."

"At first, I thought it was because you had already gained fame at a young age, and you had achieved nothing, and there was an unbalanced gap in your heart. So I thought about waiting."

Meng Shulan said for a while, looking at Yan Qing's still immature face, she murmured to herself, "I was thinking, you and I are still young, if we wait a little longer, we will wait for you and me again." Bigger, it’s not too late to talk about these.”

"But that time, when I came here with Yan Xiu and watched you being buried in a pile of dead people dying, I realized that although you and I are still young, we may not have a future on this battlefield."

Meng Shulan remembered that three years ago, when she dug people out from the pile of dead people, she was only hanging on her breath, and then trembled with fear, "At that time, Miss Xiaoyou said that you might not be able to save you. At that time, I I realized that once some people are in the heart, when they want to lose it, it is like cutting out the heart and scraping the bone."

Yan Qing was stunned, tightened his hand hanging by his side, fanned his eyelashes slightly, and subconsciously looked away, not daring to look into Meng Shulan's overly hot eyes.

But she couldn't help but think of Meng Shulan in her previous life, who fell in her arms and gradually became cold and stiff, and she almost watched him die in front of her eyes again in this life.

The pain of gouging the heart and scraping the bone is a hundred times more painful than any sword cut on the body.

So in the past, every time he came back from a serious injury on the battlefield, was he in this mood?

Yan Qing suddenly felt guilty.

In the past, she always felt that Meng Shulan's angrily asking herself not to take risks next time was a big deal, and she felt that it was inevitable to be injured by swords and swords on the battlefield.

But when the position was changed, it turned out that he was no different from him.

Yan Qing wanted to say something, but didn't know what to say.

The white teeth opened slightly, but they were knocked together again, and repeated several times, each time the words came to her lips, but she felt that it was not appropriate, so she couldn't speak.

In the end, it was still Meng Shulan who broke the short silence.

"That's when I really realized that if I didn't say something at the time, I might never have the opportunity to say it to the person who wanted to say it."

Meng Shulan looked deeply at the person opposite who was hesitant to speak, and traced her eyebrows and eyes inch by inch, "When you are finally out of danger, I will think, no matter whether you or I are young or selfish Whether I am qualified to stand by your side, there are some things I want to tell you. I am afraid that if I don’t speak at that time, I will not have another chance in the future.”

"Probably because I was too eager, even Yan Shuai could see what I was thinking."

Meng Shulan smiled wryly, "He made an agreement with me for three chapters, and asked me to keep my mouth shut. He said that the children of the Yan family are eagles in the desert, and eagles fed with broken wings are rare to die well. He said, you and I are still young, although we have arrived It’s an age when folks talk about marriage, but you’re still a child after all, so it’s inevitable that you will be a little impulsive. He made a three-year agreement with me, which made me wonder whether I was impulsive or sincere.”

"He doesn't know. I've been thinking about this for two years."

Meng Shulan smiled, sighed, looked away suddenly, straightened her back, looked at the bright stars in the sky, and whispered softly, "Ah Qing, I've been thinking about this for five years."

The noisy wind seemed to be quiet for an instant at this moment, Yan Qing stared blankly at the person in front of him who turned around, his deep eyes were serious and hot, and his red lips opened and closed.

"I am happy with you."

(End of this chapter)