False evidence

Chapter 34 Cursed Poisoning (2)

In my hometown, the funeral feast is also called tofu rice.

I later searched online and found that none of the explanations for this name were as clear as my grandfather's.

I was at the table at the time, and when I first heard the words "tofu rice," I asked the old man with concern:
"Are we not just going to eat tofu for this meal?"

Grandpa chuckled: "We definitely have tofu, and we also have roast chicken and braised pork knuckle!"

Once I felt relieved, I asked again, "Then why is it called Tofu Rice? Why not Roast Chicken and Pork Knuckle Rice?"

Grandpa explained, "No one wants to die. If you die unwillingly, you'll leave behind resentment. Eat more beans to calm your mind. Let go of that resentment like a fart, and you'll be fine."

Looking back now, that explanation is absolutely intuitive and admirable.

That day I was really indulging. When the main dishes were served, I ate them with gusto, stuffing myself with chicken, duck, fish, and meat until my throat was full.

After eating and drinking my fill, I was planning to play with other children my age, but then an old man, about the same age as my grandfather, arrived late. As soon as he sat down and said a few words, he practically glued my bottom to the bench.

"Old man, something's not quite right here."

"What's wrong?" the old man asked.

"Old medicine pot" is a common way for people of the same generation as Grandpa to address him.

I know this person, 'Late Arrival,' of course; I call him Old Master Bai.

Later, when I got older, I learned that Old Bai was one of the few "old" people in the surrounding villages, meaning he was a person who could consult on matters.

Whenever a family has a wedding or funeral, they ask him to take charge.

Old Bai took a sip of his liquor, clicked his tongue, and whispered to my grandfather:

"That kid from the Shao family, his death was so bizarre. He was found in the mountains almost two days ago, right? But if you ask me, he's been dead for at least a week. I just checked, and his toenails are still growing, almost an inch long, he can't even put on shoes anymore!"

The old man said casually, "If your toenails are long, just trim them."

That's what he said, but the other old men didn't react as calmly as he did.

One of the old men looked horrified: "A dead man's toenails are still long? Could it be that he's about to come back to life? We just finished cleaning up, it's only the first day, we still have to stop for seven days! What if this simpleton really turns into a zombie?"

Another old man's voice trembled: "Old Bai, this is no joke. You all know that Hanwazi was stupid when he was alive, he even dared to hit his own father. If he really turns into a zombie, wouldn't he bring chaos to everyone in our village?"

"That's why I'm here to discuss this with you guys!"

Old Master Bai pressed his hands down, signaling everyone at the table to lower their voices, and then spoke to my grandfather alone:

"Old man, this is no small matter. Stop drinking and come up with a solution! I've tried everything I know, but the boy is still not behaving properly!"

Grandpa rolled his eyes: "Don't bother me. You know I don't get along with the Shao family. I'm only here because we're all from the same village. We've paid the gift money, and we'll just have a good drink. Don't bother me with anything else!"

As he spoke, the old man poured a small amount of wine from his glass into the glass in front of me, and even clinked glasses with me in a serious manner. Then, he tilted his head back and slurped down the wine in his glass.

From as far back as I can remember, my grandfather would dip chopsticks in baijiu (a type of Chinese liquor) and feed it to me. I could drink about half an ounce of liquor back then. To keep up with my grandfather, I would also drink that little bit of liquor in one gulp.

The consequence was that I had to eat another piece of boiled duck meat because it was so spicy.

Old Master Bai personally filled my grandfather's glass, glanced at him sideways, and raised his glass to clink with his:
“You stubborn old mule, don’t you even look at the situation? Why are you still being stubborn? It’s just money. I’ll go talk to the family and get this settled. They’ll return your gift money to you and give you an extra fifty.”

Grandpa downed his drink in one gulp, glanced down at me, then looked up and nodded at Old Bai, "It's settled then."

The following afternoon, I spent running around the village with the other kids.

It wasn't until dusk, and when their stomachs started rumbling again, that they returned to Hanwazi's house.

To be honest, even though I was young at the time, I didn't like this family very much. In fact, most people in the village didn't get along with them either. If it weren't for the elderly burying their children, but the other way around, I guess many people wouldn't come even if they had food to eat.

As my grandfather would say, "There's only one bargain in the world, and Wang Hua got it."

In short, this family, from top to bottom, from old to young, are all money-grubbers. They're the kind of people who pluck every last drop of watermelon, and even after eating and defecating, they'll still pick out the seeds with chopsticks and eat them.

Grandpa never left, and I don't know what he did in the afternoon.

I knew it; tonight's dinner would include fish and meat, comparable to the lavish feast at noon.

My grandpa loves to drink. He drinks quite a bit at noon and continues to drink in the evening. He gets a little tipsy and eventually gets me all drunk too.

I was a little sleepy and said to my grandfather, "When are we going home? I'm tired."

Grandpa looked at me with dazed eyes and said, "We can't go back tonight."

I asked, "If we don't go back, where will we sleep?"

Just then, Old Master Bai patted my shoulder and said, "Son, come with me."

I have great respect for Old Bai, only slightly less than for my grandfather. With my grandfather's permission, I followed Old Bai to the back of the house.

Old Bai was holding a porcelain bowl with the characters "福" (fortune) and "寿" (longevity) on the outside. When we got to the back, he handed the bowl to me and said, "Child, take a piss in this bowl."

I was really drunk and thought to myself, who would urinate in their food bowl?

Since that's what Old Bai said, I did as he said.

I don't remember the details very clearly, but I vaguely recall that after he finished urinating, Old Bai took the bowl and said:

"My child, you've really grown up well, peeing so much. I should have gotten a bigger bowl for you."

After I got back, I still dozed off and fell asleep, and I don't even remember where I slept.

When I woke up, the lights were on in the room, and I was the only one on the kang (a heated brick bed).

I don't have a problem with sleeping in unfamiliar beds, but once I wake up and realize that this isn't my house, but Hanwazi's house, I feel uncomfortable and can't fall back asleep.

He put on his clothes and shoes, then staggered out, wanting to find his grandfather.

It was winter, and when we opened the door, it was snowing again.

It must have snowed for a while now. There's no one in the yard, and the thin layer of snow is as smooth as a freshly laid steamer cloth.

Although I was still half asleep, my childlike nature made me reluctant to leave any footprints in the snow.

The lights were still on in the main room; besides the incandescent bulbs, there must have been candles burning. Otherwise, why would the light in the courtyard be so flickering?

I didn't go into the main room during the day, but I could see through the door that there was a large, dark coffin placed right in front of the door.

Just then, a series of sobbing sounds could be heard coming from inside the house.

I had never experienced a funeral before, but I wasn't completely ignorant about it.

The key thing is that I know coffins are for the dead, and that coffin contained Shao Hanzi.

Although I thought Grandpa might be in the main room, I was afraid of dead people, so I didn't dare to go over for a moment.

I thought about it and decided to go back to bed and continue sleeping. Anyway, wherever Grandpa is, that's my home. What's there to be afraid of?
But just as I took a step back, intending to close the door, I suddenly heard a very soft, yet strange, "clack-clack" sound coming from inside the yard and at the gate...

(End of this chapter)